


Your Song's on Replay

by jjongbluemoon



Category: SHINee
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Band Fic, Coming of Age, F/M, Fluff and Angst, M/M, it's set during odd era, the band is called odd, there's a fair amount of homophobia in this fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-09
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-03-29 02:32:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 32,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13917522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jjongbluemoon/pseuds/jjongbluemoon
Summary: Wanted: One guitarist with at least one year’s worth of experience. Singing ability preferred but not required. Interested? Come to the 3rd music room in the west wing on Friday at 4pm.Kim Kibum is desperate to find the perfect guitarist for his band, Odd, after their previous one walked out on them. Kim Jonghyun is the new kid looking for a place to belong and has a secret he would rather keep hidden... Until he delves into Odd's world of music.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there, if you're familiar with my previous work you will know that I've been using fiction as a coping mechanism for my own depression and grief over jonghyun, and this is no different. So, if reading about him is too much for you, please do not force yourself to. However, if you are like me and you find that reading/writing about him helps, then i hope you enjoy this story. Updates will be frequent.
> 
> i won't be posting any other author's notes after this so if you have any questions, just leave them in the comments - i promise i reply to every single one.
> 
> also, don't be afraid to let me know what you think of the fanfic, but please be kind in your criticisms.
> 
> Thank you if you decide to continue reading! I hope you enjoy :)
> 
> Warning: this fanfic does contain HOMOPHOBIC LANGUAGE so please be cautious when reading. Each chapter will be tagged accordingly. 
> 
> This chapter contains the f-slur.

_Wanted: One guitarist with at least one year’s worth of experience. Singing ability preferred but not required. Interested? Come to the 3 rd music room in the west wing on Friday at 4pm._

Kim Kibum took a quick step back to admire his handiwork; he had spent the entirety of his weekend brainstorming and designing a poster to advertise their band to any fledgling guitarists. Granted, he hadn’t gotten any homework done but he couldn’t say he had wasted his time.

Ever since Dongwoo, or CNU as he had become to be known, had walked out on their band over the spring break, _Odd_ had been down one guitarist, and unsurprisingly they discovered rather quickly that without a guitarist they lacked any sound and presence. Jinki had suggested they just break up and focus on studies but Kibum had been opposed – if he couldn’t play music anymore, he might as well just quit everything and take a job at McDonalds for the rest of his life.

“I’ll smell like burger grease and be miserable but at least I won’t be kidding myself,” Kibum moaned, falling face first onto his father’s prized chaise longue in the conservatory. Jinki dropped the subject entirely after that. Minho and Taemin didn’t even attempt to argue. With a unanimous decision, they all agreed to look for a new guitarist.

Which brought Kibum to today with his masterpiece of a poster thumbtacked to the student board in the main hall. Thousands of students filter in and out every day and some of them surely had to have some guitar skills hidden up their sleeves. If they didn’t, Kibum was certain they’d be desperate to take in a beginner and train them up – if it came to that of course, he still had hope that the next Jimi Hendrix would burst through the double doors.

And then, just as Kibum imagined it, the double doors swung open and an ear piercing chorus of screams poured in. Kibum stared incredulously as a boy he had never seen before walked in with a slight swagger to his step. He wore the school uniform: white shirt, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and checked pants with black shoes. As the boy stepped closer Kibum could see a grey vest peeking out from under his shirt, a sliver of rebellion in a tightly wound school. The boy gave Kibum a quick glance over and smirked before strolling away, tucking his hands into his pockets as he did. Kibum clocked the guitar case swinging over his shoulder and his mood immediately picked up, an angel must’ve heard his prayers!

The screams from earlier personified themselves into a gaggle of girls swarming after the stranger, screaming out renditions of what must be his name, but it came out so garbled Kibum couldn’t pick it up easily. He watched in utter disbelief as the girls trailed after him like ducklings after their mother. What the hell had just happened to the school’s population? He would never understand girls.

Behind the group came three familiar faces and Kibum had never felt so relieved in his entire life to see them. “Boy am I glad to see you idiots,” he said the moment they walked up to him. “Look what I did over the weekend!” He gestured to the poster with a silent _ta-dah!_ tacked to the end of his sentence.

Taemin, Minho, and Jinki all looked over the poster, their faces a myriad of expressions. Taemin looked uncomfortable, but that didn’t surprise Kibum, Taemin always looked uncomfortable, he had no control over his face. Minho looked a little dumbfounded and impressed by Kibum’s craftsmanship. Jinki, however, pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed.

“Did you spend all weekend on this?” He asked.

“Sure did!”

“Let me guess, you did absolutely no homework either.”

Kibum faltered and his smile began to fade. “Well, no…”

“Kibum!”

“I’ll do it later, chill out, Jinx! You didn’t tell me what you think.” Kibum stared down the other two with a hard gaze. Taemin looked down at his feet and twiddled his thumbs and Minho pretended to be looking at other notices on the board with interest. “Dumb and dumber, give me your opinion.”

“I think it’s cool, hyung,” Taemin admitted. Jinki shot his younger brother a betrayed look and Taemin shrugged his shoulders. “Key’s got a knack for this stuff… Did you want me to lie?”

“You’re a terrible liar anyway,” Kibum said, checking the synth player off his shit list. He turned to the drummer, who continued to stare at the board with over exaggerated interest. “Ho, tell me what you think.”

“Honestly? It’s cool, I like it, but-“

“But?” Kibum folded his arms over his chest. “ _But_?”

Minho swallowed audibly and closed his eyes. “It needs more red,” he blurted out quickly.

“Red?” Kibum questioned, turning to look back at his poster. He tilted his head as if he were admiring a piece of art and then sighed. “You’re right. I was trying to go retro-chic with the monochrome but it just looks dull.” He reached up to tear it down but Jinki’s hand came up to pull his wrist down. “Hyung?”

“Don’t tear it down, Kibum, you worked really hard on it,” Jinki said earnestly. Kibum smiled at him and lowered his arm. “Besides, if you go and create a new one you’ll never get your homework done.” Kibum scowled.

“All you care about is schoolwork. What happened to the cool Jinki who proposed we start a band?”

“He’s still here!” Jinki spluttered in protest. He jabbed at himself in the chest. “I’ve always been cool Jinki!” There were murmurs that hovered around the other three and Jinki’s face dropped. “Oh, fuck you guys. I’ve always been cool.”

“Sure, hyung,” Taemin said, reaching over and patting his brother’s shoulder. “You’re cool in my eyes.” Minho snorted and Taemin shot him a look.

“Thank you, Taeminnie.”

“Anyway, how many auditions do you think we’re going to get? Ten? Twenty!?” Kibum asked excitedly.

“Try none,” a voice from behind spoke up and the four turned around to see Jung Jinyoung, bassist and singer of _Let’s Fly_ , standing with an air of feigned authority. He stared down at Kibum with a smug smirk. Kibum scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Oh? Think you can prove me wrong?”

“I can prove how fragile your face is,” Kibum threatened, lunging forward only to be held back by Minho and Jinki (but mostly Minho).

Jinyoung chuckled, shaking his head slowly. “Petty, petty. If you do manage to find a new guitarist… We’d be happy to show you how a real band sounds.”

“What? With your stolen lead guitarist?” Jinki accused, stepping forward. Dongwoo hadn’t actually given any reasons for his departure, but Kibum quickly learnt that Jinyoung had offered him a position in his band, and according to Dongwoo, he had said he suited the music in _Let’s Fly_ a lot more than _Odd_. In retrospect, he always did turn down the more experimental music.

“Don’t be bitter. I’m sure you’ll find someone. Whether that person will be any good is another thing…”

“Oh just fuck off, Jinyoung,” Taemin finally added to the fray. “Why don’t you go make out with your synth player or something?”

Jinyoung’s mouth opened agape as the group strode away, Kibum keeping a stern eye on the other bassist to make sure he didn’t tear down their poster. But, it seemed that not even someone like Jinyoung could be that vindictive, and instead he turned around and stalked away with a scowl.

“God, one day I will actually beat his face in with his bass!” Kibum growled, his hand clenching into a fist.

“Kibum, you need to learn to let this rivalry go. I’m so tired of you two constantly bickering since day one,” Jinki complained, rubbing at his forehead.

“Tired? You’re tired?! I hate that bastard. He stole our lead guitarist. Doesn’t that bother you?” Kibum asked, jabbing a stiff finger into Jinki’s chest. Jinki shoved Kibum’s hand away with a stern look that dared the bassist not to cross him again.

“Bum…” Taemin stepped forward, trying to separate the two. “It bothers us. We can’t get very far without a guitarist, but what’s done is done. CNU joined their band and now we have to look for another guitarist.” The four turned to look at the poster. “Let’s hope your work will attract someone.”

* * *

It seemed, to Kibum, that luck was on _Odd_ ’s side as during lunch Choi Siwon, captain of the hockey team, strolled up to their table snuck in the corner of the cafeteria with a big goofy grin on his face. “I hear you’re looking for a new guitarist.”

“Yeah? So what?” Kibum asked, partway through taking a bite of his sandwich. He ended up spitting crumbs of across the table as he spoke. Taemin kicked his shin and gave him a wide eyed glare that told the elder to behave. “Are you interested in auditioning?” Kibum then asked, swallowing his food.

“No, not me,” Siwon said, thumbing at his nose as he took a look around the cafeteria. Minho glanced over to the table where a few of Siwon’s friends sat, watching intently with mean smiles on their faces. This can’t be going anywhere good, he deduced. “I have a cousin; he’s going to be transferring in at the end of the week. He’s interested.”

Kibum fell for it, hook line and sinker, and perked up. “Really? That’s cool! What’s his name?”

Siwon slid a note to Taemin and gave him a look that urged him to read it out. “It’s er… I… Um…” Taemin faltered. “I can’t read English.”

Kibum snatched the piece of paper from Taemin’s hands, having caught onto Siwon’s ruse and stared at the words crudely written in bad English. “Very funny, you asshole,” Kibum scoffed, scrunching the paper up and throwing it towards the bin. It kissed the rim and bounced off onto the floor. Siwon laughed.

“You guys are such losers. You used to be cool, Choi, until you started hanging around fags.” He walked away, laughing with his friends who all cheered at their successful prank.

“God, what a jerk,” Kibum said, squeezing his sandwich until the filling spilled out onto the table. He let out a noise of disgust and threw the rest back into the container. “I thought being musicians would make you popular.”

Taemin smiled sadly. “I don’t think it works when a quarter of the band is gay.” Minho and Kibum began to protest that it wasn’t his fault and that sometimes things just don’t work out as they should and Taemin fought off the lump in his throat, tears threatening to spill. “It’s okay, you guys. You know, in my eyes, you’re the cool ones for being my friends.” He picked up his lunch and made his way out of the cafeteria. Minho and Kibum knew where he was going, his brother always spent lunch in the council room, as he was part of the budget committee, and whenever Taemin was upset he would hide away in there until the end of the day.

Just as Taemin was leaving, the strange boy from the day before with the godly presence entered through the doors. A quiet hush echoed across the hall and a few strangled squeals emerged from random directions. The boy stopped Taemin and Kibum felt his heart leap in his throat. The boy made some gestures towards the table where Minho and Kibum were currently sitting, and Taemin just nodded a few times before leaving completely.

The boy then looked over at the table and smiled. He then did the most peculiar thing in Kibum’s eyes, he winked at him before walking off and Kibum could see the guitar case still strapped over his shoulder. The whole hall watched him with baited breath.

“Do you know him?” Minho whispered.

“Not at all… I was hoping you did,” Kibum replied.

The boy paid for an apple and a bottle of chocolate milk and then left the cafeteria. The moment the doors slammed closed, the hall erupted into excitable conversation and Kibum almost believed for a second that he had dreamt everything until it happened again the next day.


	2. Chapter 2

Kim Kibum had a conundrum. He couldn’t quite get that strange boy out of his head; not even as he tapped his pen against the edge of the table rhythmically, not even when the teacher called on him to read the next extract in perfect English, and especially not when he left the classroom and found himself staring at the poster he had lovingly made – still tacked to the student board, untouched. It made sense logically to him - the strange boy carried around a guitar case and the band needed a guitarist - but whether or not the boy was interested was something else entirely.

“What’s up, hyung?” A voice asked from behind Kibum.

“Taemin-ah,” Kibum began with a wistful sigh. “This is a pipe dream, isn’t it?”

“What is?” Taemin asked again, stepping out to get a closer look at the board. His eyes trailed over the notices, some torn down and some yellow from age. Kibum’s poster remained pristine, white and black and polished.

“This band.”

Taemin shook his head. “I don’t think so.”

“I don’t think so either,” Minho added, coming up from behind. Jinki followed along in stride with a sunny smile.

“Kibum-ah, are you second guessing yourself again?” Jinki teased, throwing an arm around the younger member. “You’re the one who was so determined we’d make it big.”

“I thought we would,” Kibum said. “But we’re lacking a guitarist.”

“Things will work out,” Jinki said. “Come on, let’s go get some milkshakes and we can help you finish your maths homework.”

“How did-?” Kibum turned to stare at Jinki incredulously. The elder had magnificent mind reading skills.

“I know you,” Jinki explained with a twinkling eye smile. He removed his arm from around Kibum’s neck and led the group out of the main hall. Just as they were ready to leave, the familiar chorus of fangirls erupted from down the hall and two double doors that lead to the science wing swung open.

The four watched on as the mysterious stranger swaggered forward with a pleased smirk on his face. A neatly decorated hand clasped onto the strap of his guitar case, hitching it over his shoulder a few times to get comfortable. Under a scrutinising gaze, the boy walked past the student board before stopping completely. He then took two steps backwards and stared at Kibum’s poster. The four held their breaths as the boy tore the poster down completely, his head turning to the side when Kibum let out a little shriek in his throat. He folded the poster up haphazardly and shoved it into the pocket of his pants before strolling off in a different direction – the west wing.

“What the hell just happened,” Kibum then said aloud, pinching at his own arm. “Did that just happen?”

The other three nodded with equally astonished faces. “Well, what did I say? I told you things would work out,” Jinki said with an uneasy smile. The gaggle of girls that pursued the strange boy continued through the hall, looking around when they realised they had lost him.

“He went that way,” Minho said, pointing towards the east wing. The girls screamed in thanks and ran in the direction Minho had gestured, arms waving in front of them like zombies looking for the kill.

“You just sent them in the wrong direction,” Taemin whispered. “They’ll kill you.”

“Yeah, if they can catch me first,” Minho snorted.

“Okay, I have to ask, is he famous or something?” Kibum then asked, throwing his hands in the air. Jinki shook his head.

“No, no… At least, not that I’m aware of.”

“Great, _great_. Just what we need-“

“Oh my God, Kibum you’re a genius!” Taemin exclaimed, completely missing the sarcasm dripping from Kibum’s voice. “He is exactly what we need!” He turned to look at Minho. “Don’t you agree?” Minho shrugged, neither a yes or a no.

Kibum folded his arms over his chest. “Well, he seemed interested in the poster…”

“ _Our_ poster!” Taemin reminded him, excitedly. He was now clinging to Minho’s arm, and Kibum was sure he was going to wrench it loose from its socket.

“We’ll see if he comes,” Kibum then said. “If he doesn’t, we’ll just have to keep looking.”

“But, if he does,” Minho countered. “Maybe we won’t have to for much longer.”

* * *

Friday crept around the corner, crawling through the school week at the pace of a snail. However, four o’clock seemed to roll around pretty quickly in comparison and Kibum was first to reach the music room. He hadn’t expected to be held up, but it seemed that the mysterious stranger had managed to cause traffic with his traversing across the school. Not seconds later he received a text from Taemin stating that he and Minho would be late due to said traffic. Jinki wouldn’t be at the music room until quarter past, having some council duties to attend to.

Kibum sighed deeply when he stepped into the music room; everything had been left in its place. Taemin’s favourite piano was still tucked into the far corner, bleached by the setting sunlight. Kibum’s bass guitar, the one he used for classes and practise, hung on the wall over it, collecting dust, and Minho’s drum set had been deconstructed and set aside on top of the piano.

A knock at the door disturbed the serene moment and Kibum immediately whirled around to look at the intruder. A pair of large, brown eyes blinked around owlishly, and a shy smile tucked into the corners of pink lips. The mysterious boy that Kibum had been unable to get out of his head since Monday had arrived, holding the poster between two shaking hands. He glanced around the room awkwardly before making eye contact with Kibum.

“Oh hi… I’m here for the audition… Am I in the right place?”

Kibum was a little dumbstruck for a second. There was something oddly memorising about the way this boy spoke, his voice a lot deeper than he was expecting. “Uhm, yes. Sorry. Yeah, you’re in the right place. I’m Kibum, _Odd_ ’s bassist.”

“ _Odd_? That’s the name of your band?”

“It’s in the works,” Kibum lied with a slight shrug. They had gone through several names before settling on the current one and that was only because CNU had stated aloud that the four were just _incredibly odd_.

And, in a way, they supposed they were. Jinki, second place in the entire school and part of the student council, was only friends with Kibum because they ended up being neighbours on the Millionaire’s estate (as some kids called it) and through osmosis Kibum and Taemin became friends too. Though, they did develop a closer bond thanks to the dance classes they took for over a year in middle school. Minho was a whole different story, as he was technically a jack of all trades. He loved drama and he loved sports and Kibum had only met him when they auditioned for the same part for a musical. Minho would’ve likely won the part if he hadn’t gotten stage fright when it came to the singing. After that, Kibum had invited Minho to join their at-the-time four person band as the drummer and he’d accepted on the spot.

“So… Is it just you who’s in the band?”

“Oh, no, there are four of us but two of them are caught in traffic, caused by you actually-” the boy looked down, sheepishly, “- and the other one is currently doing student council errands and will be joining us shortly. You can set up your guitar here,” Kibum suggested, gesturing to one of the many seats in the room.

“Yes! Hello! Sorry we’re late!” Taemin announced bursting into the room the moment the boy had followed Kibum’s instructions.

“Taemin wanted to stop at the vending machine to grab a soda,” Minho admitted.

“What? I thought you got caught up in that horrendous traffic!”

“What traffic? It was clear down our end,” Taemin said. “I lied so you wouldn’t ask for a soda. I only had enough money for two.”

Kibum pointedly stared at the opened can in Taemin’s hand. “So, where’s the other one?” Minho raised his own soda before taking a loud sip. Kibum groaned. “Idiots.” He then turned to the boy and smiled politely. “Minho, Taemin this is…”

“Kim Jonghyun,” the boy said, bowing to the other two.

“Taemin’s our synth, and Minho’s our drummer.” Jonghyun grinned as Taemin bowed a complete 90 degree angle, spilling a tiny splash of soda on the floor.

 “We’ve heard a lot about you,” Taemin confessed.

“Mostly from our female friends,” Minho added. “Yuri wouldn’t shut up about you.”

“And Seulgi is pretty much in love with you. She asked if I could hook you two up when I told her you’d be auditioning for our band.” Taemin then fell silent.

Jonghyun laughed, raising his hand to cover his mouth. “I appreciate the sentiment, but I just got out of a relationship, so I’m not really looking for anything right now.”

“Oh, no, don’t worry. I wasn’t actually asking,” Taemin trailed off, scratching at his inner arm. “Did it end badly?”

“Eh, we didn’t end on friendly terms, let’s just say that,” Jonghyun replied.

“Well, I guess we’ll just wait for Jinx to get here and then we should start the audition. You don’t have anywhere else to be today, do you?” Kibum asked, taking a seat on one of the old tables that had been discarded to the side of the classroom.

Jonghyun shook his head. “Nah, I’m free on Fridays.”

“Ditto,” Taemin responded, offering a finger-gun alongside his comment.

Jonghyun raised his hand to his mouth again, laughing softly. “You’re cute,” he commented. “What year are you in?”

“I’m a freshman,” Taemin responded. He had now grabbed the drum set stool and was sitting on it with one of Minho’s old drumsticks twirling in his fingers. Minho watched cautiously and Kibum couldn’t tell if he was going to snatch the sticks from Taemin’s grasp.

Five minutes of casual conversation followed before Jinki entered, running a hand through his sandy blond hair. “Sorry I’m late guys. Taeyeon wanted to start on Sports day and I told her it could wait until the end of next month, but you know what she’s like…” Jinki trailed off when he noticed Jonghyun sitting off to the side. “Right, my blabbering is only keeping us behind. So…” The elder looked to Kibum.

“Jonghyun.”

“So, Jonghyun, you’re here to audition?”

“Yeah,” the blond responded, leaning forward and Kibum noticed that from the angle he was stood, he could look down the elder’s tank top. He caught a glimpse of the beginnings of structured ab muscles before he averted his gaze, his face feeling hot. “Five years.” Jonghyun then said and Kibum realised that whilst he’d been admiring Jonghyun’s form, the interview had carried on around him. Jonghyun was now also looking at him strangely, his eyebrow quirked in question.

“Can you sing or is it a preference for you not to?” Jinki asked. He’d been looking for a back-up singer, and CNU had taken that role wholeheartedly…

“I can sing, yeah. I’ll sing if you want me to.”

“We’ll get to that later, your ability to play guitar is more important,” Jinki responded.

“Can I ask a question, Jinx?” Kibum asked, jumping in.

“Sure…”

“Why do you want to join this band?”

Jonghyun shifted on his seat and leaned back before deciding against it and leaned forward again. “I’ve just always loved music, and I actually compose songs myself, so to be a part of a group with friends and play music would be everything I’ve wanted.”

Kibum was a little taken aback, he’d expected some sort of ‘ _Well, everyone wants to join a band in high school, right_?’ type of answer but what Jonghyun had just spilt was heartfelt. Kibum shook his head when Jinki asked if he had any other questions, Jonghyun had answered the one thing on his mind perfectly.

A few more questions were tossed around by Taemin, Minho, and Jinki before Jonghyun actually began to play his guitar. Kibum was curious to hear how he sounded, seeing as he treated his guitar like the Holy Grail.

And Kibum had to admit, when Jonghyun began to play, he was honestly, pretty fucking stellar. And, from the looks of everyone else’s face, they all agreed. It was a no doubter, Jonghyun was going to be their new guitarist and from the sound of it, he was definitely better than anyone expected.

Kibum couldn’t wait to shove it in Jinyoung’s smarmy face.


	3. Chapter 3

Once he had finished playing, Jonghyun held a note under his breath, before looking up to four very astonished faces. He scratched the back of his head with a nervous smile and Kibum instinctively rolled his eyes. _Typical, he’d be modest after playing so brilliantly._

“So, am I good enough?” Jonghyun asked, biting on his lower lip.

“Hell yes!” Taemin shouted out, bringing his arms up to clap but managing instead to hit one of the symbols from Minho’s discarded drum kit, near deafening Jinki who shot his younger brother a glare. “Sorry…”

“To add on to what Taemin just said,” Jinki continued, rubbing at his ear. “I think you are more than suitable to play for our band.”

“And even if you weren’t, we’d have no choice as you’re the only one who responded to the advert,” Taemin butted in, his honesty unappreciated by Kibum.

“Taemin!” Kibum scolded, his cheeks heating up.

“What? It’s the truth,” Taemin said, his bottom lip jutting out.

“Anyway, back on point,” Jinki said. “If you want to, we’d love to have you as a part of our band.”

“Really? That’s awesome!” Jonghyun stood up immediately, keeping hold of his guitar carefully as he leant over to shake Jinki’s hand. Kibum’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, he hadn’t been expecting Jonghyun to be so polite. “So when’s practise?”

“We practise at my house every Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday. Sometimes Saturday, maybe Sunday,” Kibum said, reaching behind and grabbing his notebook. He flipped past his school work and scrawled down his home address and mobile number on a clean sheet. He then tore it off neatly and handed it over to Jonghyun.

Jonghyun took it with thanks and then glanced over the address. His eyes widened dramatically and he peered up at Kibum. “This is the Millionaire’s estate,” he commented.

Kibum raised an eyebrow. “And? Is that an issue?”

Jonghyun shook his head immediately. “Nope! No issue here!” Kibum was sceptical but he didn’t press the situation any further. “So, what do you all do on a Friday afternoon?” Jonghyun asked as he put away his guitar.

“We usually go to Kibum’s house and watch movies. Minho sometimes stays over,” Taemin said without filter.

“Just Minho?” Jonghyun questioned, staring up at him. “Why’s that?”

“Because Taemin and I live next door,” Jinki replied.

“So… You’re all… rich?” Jonghyun pieced together with a perplexed expression.

“Sure, if you say that,” Minho said, shrugging his shoulders. “I don’t live on the estate though; I live with my brother in a condo downtown.”

“A condo!?” Jonghyun looked as if he were about to pass out, his face turning pale and his eyes wider than Kibum had ever seen before, it was almost comical if it wasn’t worrying. “I suppose my suggestion for milkshakes at _I’Scream_ would be too low-brow for you all then…”

“Why would you say that?” Jinki asked, crossing his arms over his chest with a frown. “Milkshakes sound good.”

“Agreed,” Taemin said, this time succeeding in clapping his hands over his head like an energetic child.

And that was how the newly formed five found themselves sitting at a small round table, elbows touching, underneath a tacky glass lamp. The ice cream bar itself was crude; walls painted off shades of yellow and pink with 3D art of unnaturally colourful cows jutting out and staring at patrons with large, black eyes.

“This is… interesting,” Kibum said first, shifting from the two green cows on the left to the giant purple cow with a crazed look in its glazed eyes.

“Yeah, the décor is a little out there,” Jonghyun admitted, grinning. “But their milkshakes are the best you’ll ever have, I promise.”

Kibum snorted but didn’t argue against Jonghyun’s word. He’d prove him wrong somehow, he was certain. “I’ll have a peanut butter milkshake,” he said, shoving the small laminated menu aside.

“Same,” Jinki replied, following Kibum’s actions.

“I’ll go order,” Jonghyun suggested, standing up. He then stared at Taemin and Minho who replayed their orders in synch: One banana and one strawberry bomb. Kibum watched from his periphery as Jonghyun sauntered over to the counter and jabbed his finger at the different orders on the menu. The woman behind the bar wrote each one down; tucking her hair behind her ear each time she glanced up at Jonghyun.

“What are you doing?” Jinki then asked, nudging Kibum.

“What? Nothing.”

“You were staring at Jonghyun-hyung,” Taemin whispered. “Do you think he’s good looking?”

“No. Do _you_?” Kibum shot back with a teasing smile.

Taemin sighed. “No, not really. He’s not my type.” His eyes flickered over Minho discreetly before bowing down and staring at the menu intently.

Jonghyun returned moments later with a small paper receipt, a phone number scribbled crudely on the back. “They should be about five minutes or so,” he told the table as he took his seat. He stared at Kibum for a long second before glancing down at the phone number. He then tore the receipt up once and stuffed it into his pants pocket.

“Don’t we need to pay you back?” Jinki asked, having watched his every move.

“Sure, but the milkshakes are like 4,000 won each so.”

Simultaneously all four reached down into their bags and pulled out pristine leather wallets. They fingered through small wads of notes before handing over 5,000 won each. Jonghyun counted all the red notes quickly. “Keep the change,” Minho said as Jonghyun began to go through his own wallet. He frowned at this, his mouth upturned in a mix between disgust and anger but he didn’t say a word and pocketed the cash.

Five minutes later, their milkshakes arrived and Jinki decided to use the time to have an ice breaker for the band. “Let’s go around and say one memorable thing about ourselves,” he suggested with a sunny smile. Kibum rolled his eyes. “Kibum, why don’t you start?”

Kibum groaned under his breath. “Um, well, I was born in Daegu, s’why I don’t sound like these city folk-“ Jonghyun laughed and a fluttering sensation filled Kibum’s chest, if only for a second. “-And I’ve been playing bass for about four years.”

Next up was Jonghyun himself. “Well, I’m Jonghyun and I transferred over from Tokyo in the summer.”

“You’re joking,” Taemin gasped. “You went to school in Tokyo?”

“Yup, so my Korean might be a bit lacking, it’s been a while since I used it fully,” Jonghyun continued, sucking down some of his radioactive blue milkshake. “I’ve been playing guitar since I was about seven.”

Taemin came next. “I’m Taemin and I used to play classical piano before Kibum and Jinki-hyung asked me to play in their band. On Tuesdays I dance.”

“You dance, that’s pretty cool,” Jonghyun commented. His eyes were still full of mirth from Kibum’s earlier comment.

“Kibum-hyung used to do it too,” Taemin said, grinning over at his hyung who shot him a warning look. Jonghyun turned back to Kibum with a lopsided grin.

“You dance too?”

“Used to,” Kibum emphasises. “I don’t anymore. Minho, your turn.”

“I know about Minho,” Jonghyun chuckled. “I’ve heard your name around the school. You’re the jack of all trades right? You play baseball, basketball, football, and you even do athletics. You’re the school’s star for sports competitions… How many awards have you won again?”

Minho seemed to be flustered to have all the attention flung onto him so suddenly but he complied as best he could. “About fifty…”

“Fifty. Jesus Christ,” Jonghyun cursed, whistling under his breath.

Jinki went next. “I’m Jinki and I sing for the group. I used to be in choir but I gave it up to be in the band. I’m also part of the student treasury. I handle the school’s budgets.”

“That’s pretty neat. So I guess you handle the budget for Minho’s sports competitions. Make sure there are no excessive fireworks for when he wins the gold medal,” Jonghyun joked, winking at Jinki. The fluttering feeling in Kibum’s chest died and settled in his stomach heavily. Sulking, Kibum immediately turned his attention to his milkshake, downing half of it at once. The loud slam of the glass hitting the table disturbed the conversation as Kibum gripped his forehead, his mouth open in a silent groan as he squeezed his eyes shut.

“Kibum, you okay?” Jinki asked, looking over at the boy with strict concern. “Brain freeze?” Kibum nodded stiffly, his groans becoming vocal.

“Dude, he sounds like a zombie, is he okay?” Jonghyun asked, staring wide-eyed.

“He’s fine. He does this sometimes when he’s eating something cold. You’d think he’d learn by now,” Taemin muttered, shaking his head disapprovingly before finishing off his own milkshake.

“So, what did I tell you? Best milkshakes ever, right?” Jonghyun said when Kibum became fully human again. Jinki and Taemin seemed to be impressed, both enjoying theirs with vibrant smiles, and Minho, who wasn’t that fan of sweet things to begin with, just offered a stiff shoulder shrug but Kibum didn’t miss that he had finished his milkshake too.

Kibum, on the other hand, hated the milkshake and the bitterness of the peanut butter playing with the sweet vanilla ice cream. No, it wasn’t the milkshake he hated. He didn’t really appreciate Jonghyun all that much either. He didn’t appreciate the fact that Jonghyun had just waltzed into their band, even though they had called for him, and somehow turned everything upside down – at least, in Kibum’s eyes, that’s how it was. He especially didn’t like the way Jonghyun’s precarious flirting left a nervous bubbling in his tummy.

Kibum sipped on his milkshake begrudgingly. It really was sweet and salty; the bitterness acting from his own jealousy and distrust, and the texture was smooth, creamy, and light. But he refused to like it, he refused to give in. He hated this milkshake, and even more so, he hated Kim Jonghyun.

Well, only a little bit.

* * *

The next morning, Kibum and Minho awoke to the sound of the front door being battered by Taemin’s excitable fist. Kibum was first to get up, kicking at the boy who slept on his floor as he did so, and answered the door with a sleepy smile. He counted one, two, three faces before he gasped in horror and slammed his door shut. He was used to looking like a slob in front of Jinki and Taemin; he knew them from childhood, but Jonghyun? That was a different story.

“What’s wrong?” Minho asked, plodding down the stairs, half-awake.

“Jonghyun’s here.”

Minho blinked, dumbfounded. “Yes… He’s part of the band. We promised to practise today to get our sound down. Did you forget?”

“No, I didn’t forget!” Kibum screeched, slapping at Minho’s arm. “I need to get dressed, excuse me!” He raced up the stairs, listening as Minho opened the door again, apologising for Kibum’s rudeness and allowed the three entry into Kibum’s house.

“Where did he go?” Kibum heard Jonghyun ask.

“Upstairs, he wanted to get dressed.”

“Do you always stay over?” Jonghyun then asked and Kibum paused, there was something different about his tone this time. A little colder and brisker.

“Sometimes,” Minho replied lazily. “I’m gonna go get changed too. Help yourself to drinks.”

“Ho! Don’t you dare start treating this place like it’s your own house!” Kibum yelled down, throwing on a t-shirt over his skinny fit jeans. He left his bedroom, passing Minho on the way, and bounded down the stairs, passing by his mother’s favourite mirror. He took a few seconds to smooth his hair down and made his way into the conservatory where everyone was setting up. “Sorry about that.”

“It was really rude, hyung,” Taemin scolded with a cute frown.

“Shut up, Taemin,” Kibum grouched, still not completely awake yet. “What do you want to drink?”

“I’ll have water please,” Jinki asked before doing his vocal exercises.

“Does your mum still stock banana milk?” Taemin asked. “I have a real craving for it today.”

“When don’t you? And you know she doesn’t, you’re not twelve anymore, Taemin.”

Taemin sulked. “Water please.”

“Jonghyun?” Kibum faced the new guitarist who was staring at Kibum with a mixture of different expressions before settling on a smile.

“Water for me too.”

“God, don’t go out of your way to make me work,” Kibum joked but grabbed three glasses of water and a glass of orange juice for himself all the same.

“Does Minho always sleep in your room?” Jonghyun asked suddenly when Kibum handed his water over. Kibum could see Taemin stop setting up his synth, turning to face the conversation subtlety.

“Well, yeah. He’s my best friend,” Kibum replied. He never really saw anything wrong with it until now. Jonghyun didn’t respond and gulped down his water before tuning his guitar up.

“I think we should start with _Dream Girl_ today,” Kibum suggested, grabbing his own prized bass. He carefully peeled it from the case and tuned it as well. Minho returned moments later and slid onto his stool. He twirled the drumsticks in his hand and played a few drum rolls with a cheeky smile.

“I was hoping we’d do _Nightmare_ ,” Taemin said. “I love it when hyung sings that song.”

Jinki gave his brother a big smile. “I’m down for anything.” Minho and Kibum snorted and Jonghyun barked out a laugh. “What?”

“Ah, Jinx, don’t ever change,” Kibum said. “So, we’re all in agreement, _Dream Girl_ first, _Nightmare_ second.”

“Yep!” Taemin called out, clapping his hands together in rhythm.

Jinki grabbed the sheets of music for when they first created the song and took the guitar piece out from the yellowed pile. He handed it over to Jonghyun who skimmed over the lines with a straight smile. “Keep up if you can,” Jinki said, sending Jonghyun a wink of his own and Kibum scowled from behind.

“Alright!” Minho called, tapping his drumsticks together. “One – two – three!”


	4. Chapter 4

“So…” Nicole Jung started, twirling a limp French fry between her thumb and forefinger. Every Monday, without fail, she and Kibum would share a table for lunch as Minho ran off to track practise and Taemin helped out in the library. Kibum had known that this day would hold an underlying reason when Nicole ambushed him after class, tearing him away from his friends. “I hear you’ve added Kim Jonghyun to your band.”

Kibum raised a brow. “Where did you hear that?”

“I’ll give you three guesses,” Nicole said, flashing three digits with a cheesy smile.

“Three guesses… It can’t be anyone outside of the band,” Kibum mused, picking at his home-made gimbap. “I’ll start with no-filter Lee Taemin.”

“Bingo!” Nicole grinned. “He was so excited when he told me earlier today.” She widened her eyes to a comical extent and deepened her voice just a tad. “Nicole, didja hear? Jonghyun’s in our band! Isn’t that great?” She then finally took a bite into the limp piece of potato. There was a disgusting squelch as the oil and grease leaked out as if she had just chewed into a sponge. She dropped the remaining half back onto her tray.

“That’s a scarily good impression,” Kibum muttered. “He’s such a blabbermouth, yeesh.” He began to pick at the gimbap with distaste. His mother had selfishly put in shredded carrots despite knowing he held a life-long vendetta against the vegetable. “Want this?” He asked a moment later, offering the three untouched pieces. Nicole nodded and surrendered her fries over.

“Aah man, your mom makes the _best_ gimbap ever!” Nicole commented after stuffing a whole piece in her mouth. Kibum watched on disgustedly as he rummaged through the greasy chips, finding them unappetising. “Anyway, about this whole Jonghyun joining your band – I think it’s great. He already has like a bajillion fangirls… Just imagine: those fans will be yours!”

“No, no, they’ll still be his, they’ll just be listening to our music _for_ _him_ ,” Kibum refuted.

“Big deal, they’re still listening to you, right?”

Kibum shook his head. “That’s not what I want though… I want us to be popular because we’re good, not because our lead guitarist is really attractive.”

Nicole squinted. “You think he’s attractive?”

“What? No! I was just making a generalisation. I’m sure all the girls have said that,” Kibum responded, feeling an unfamiliar heat creep up his neck.

“Well, I’ve heard hot, gorgeous, beautiful, and pretty, but never _attractive_.”

“Shut up, Nicole,” Kibum snapped.

“You can think he’s attractive, it won’t make you any less straight, genius,” Nicole scoffed, biting into another piece of gimbap.

“I don’t think he’s attractive though.”

“Whatever, man. You said it though,” Nicole muttered. She began to fiddle with the remaining piece, peeling back some of the seaweed before tearing it off and placing it on her tongue.

“Can you eat like a normal human?” Kibum demanded with a note of disgust in his voice. Nicole stuck her green tongue out in defiance. Kibum snorted. Before the argument could continue, the doors swung wide open and in came Jonghyun with his air of grandiose. Kibum found himself staring a little too long as he strolled past their table, offering Kibum a familiar smile. He grabbed an apple and some chocolate milk before heading towards the doors again, but stopped before he could leave completely.

He then turned on his heel and walked over to Kibum’s table. “Hey,” he said with a shy smile.

“Hey,” Kibum replied and Nicole reeled her tongue back in, looking away with burning hot cheeks.

“Can I sit with you guys?”

“Sure,” Kibum responded, shifting over so that Jonghyun could take the end seat. The blond did so with gratitude and stabbed the plastic straw that came with the milk through the foil lid. “Is that your lunch?”

Jonghyun shook his head as he took a long sip. “No, my mum always packs me a lunch box but I’m always hungry after I finish it so…” He looked down at the shiny red apple and half-drunk milk in his hand. “I get some extras.”

“Ah,” Kibum said, still not quite understanding Jonghyun’s reasoning. “Where do you usually eat lunch?”

“The third music room,” Jonghyun replied. “I like it up there because the girls don’t follow me. Also, I don’t mean to sound weird but has anyone else noticed how eerily quiet it is in here?”

“Yeah, it’s because of you,” Nicole informed the newcomer. “You’ve stunned the girls into silence.”

“Oh…” Jonghyun looked over his shoulder and about twenty heads immediately turned away, pretending to have never been staring.

Kibum snorted again; of course he wouldn’t know the true extent of his power. He then watched as Jonghyun took a bite of his apple, chewing thoughtfully before starting the conversation up again. “Practise is still on tonight, right?”

“Yeah, just wait near the entrance, that’s where we all meet up,” Kibum said, shoving a handful of the school’s pathetic excuse for food into his mouth.

“So, Jonghyun,” Nicole started, leaning a little closer. “Do you have a girlfriend?”

Kibum was taken by surprise by the sudden question that he swallowed a little too early and began to choke. Jonghyun shoved the chocolate milk in his face but Kibum waved it away for Nicole’s unopened bottle of water.

“Hey!” She cried out when he snatched it and tore the cap off before gulping down half of the bottle. “Dude, not cool. You owe me another bottle of water.”

“Fine,” Kibum gasped. “You would’ve let me choke to death than let me borrow your water bottle. What kind of friend are you?”

Nicole laughed. “I’m joking dude, but… You do owe me another bottle.”

Jonghyun watched the exchange, holding back his laughter when Kibum finished the entire bottle off, much to Nicole’s chagrin. “To answer your question.” He then said, pulling the attention towards himself. Or maybe Kibum just gravitated towards him whenever he spoke. “I don’t.”

Nicole grinned. “I know some perfect girls to set you up with.”

“Oh, no, I’m not interested…” Jonghyun said, shifting in his seat. He began to scratch at his middle knuckle nervously.

“Damn, that’s such a shame. You’re really hot. Even Kibum thinks so.”

“Nicole!” Kibum scolded, trying to ignore the way Jonghyun stared at him with sparked interest.

“What?” The girl shrugged before finishing off Kibum’s gimbap. “Tell your mum that the gimbap was delicious again.”

“Oh, I will.” Kibum took back the lunch box and shoved it into his bag. Nicole then stood up and stretched. “Where are you going now?”

“I’m going to go watch Minho run track. Joining me?”

“He’s running track today?” Jonghyun asked, finishing his apple off with a few more large bites. He threw the core onto Nicole’s tray. “I wanna come!”

Nicole grinned at Kibum over her shoulder. “Are you joining us, Kibum?”

“Sure, I’ll meet you there,” Kibum replied, shoulders sagging. He could think of a million other things he could be doing than watching Minho run stupid track at lunch.

* * *

The bleachers were already nearly full, girls sitting in rows holding fans with Minho’s face superimposed on them. Kibum blanched, _how tacky_.

“Minho is your competition,” Nicole explained to Jonghyun as they walked up.

“For what?”

“For attention, duh,” Nicole replied. As the three strolled up, a few girls took notice of Jonghyun’s arrival and began to scream out his name. “Well, I might be wrong.”

“When are you ever right?” Kibum joked. “Let’s sit at the back.” He made his way up the steps and slid onto one of the benches. He had expected Nicole to be beside him, but instead Jonghyun slid in right after him with a big beaming smile.

“I’m looking forward to practising with you later,” Jonghyun said and Kibum reciprocated the smile as best he could. A few girls turned to look over their shoulders, whispering and giggling.

“Oppa,” one of them said with a blinding smile. “Is it true you joined a band?”

“Yeah, it is, Wendy-ssi,” Jonghyun replied.

“You remembered my name!” Wendy exclaimed, clapping her hands together excitedly before turning back to her friends and chattering amongst them animatedly.

“How do you remember all the girls’ names?” Kibum asked, whispering into Jonghyun’s ear. The elder turned into Kibum’s neck and Kibum could smell the perfume wafting from his skin. He smelled like a mixture of sandalwood and cinnamon, warm and secure.

“I don’t, I only remember unusual names,” he confessed, his breath warm against Kibum’s neck and he could feel that unfamiliar heat crawl along his own skin once more.

“A-ah…”

“There’s Minho!” Nicole shouted, standing up. Along with her announcement, the rest of the bleacher rose, screaming and chanting Minho’s name. Jonghyun and Kibum gave each other a glance before shrugging their shoulders and joining in with the crowd.

“You know,” Jonghyun started, leaning back into Kibum’s neck. His nose brushed over the small curls of hair that tickled at his nape. “You smell really good.”

Kibum swallowed thickly and gave Jonghyun a weak-kneed smile as he pulled back. “Th-thank you…” _So do you_ , he wanted to add, but he decided against the better of it. When Jonghyun turned back to cheering for Minho, Kibum ignored the pointed stare from Nicole. She would only feed some stupid conspiracy into his brain as she always did.

* * *

Jonghyun was there after school, playing with his phone. He seemed to be alone, no estranged group of fangirls clouding his sunny disposition. Kibum and Minho descended the stairs from the science wing slowly, looking in all directions in case a stream of girls were to burst out from any unfilled seams. The coast seemed clear for now.

“Hey, guys,” Jonghyun said as they approached him. He pocketed his phone and grinned.

“You’re not being hassled for once,” Minho surmised, searching the area once more. Jonghyun laughed softly.

“Yeah, I managed to sneak out of class without anyone noticing and I think I have about five minutes before anyone comes here and finds me.”

“We should get going then,” Kibum suggested, hitching his backpack up higher. “Jinki and Taemin will come over later on.”

The three burst out of the school, the large double doors slamming against the brickwork with a sharp echo, as they skipped down the stairs and out of the gates. Kibum and Jonghyun trailed behind Minho with his tall strides. “Um,” Kibum started, looking up at Jonghyun, who fell into sync with him as their eyes met.

“Yeah?”

“About Nicole,” Kibum began to explain. “I wanna apologise.”

Jonghyun laughed again. “She’s cool. Is she your girlfriend?”

“No way!” Kibum jolted back in disgust. “She’s my friend and she’s a girl but we’re not dating.”

Minho looked over his shoulder. “He did have a bad crush on her in middle school though.”

“Minho!” Kibum screeched, swinging his arms towards Minho, who dodged the attack with ease. “Ignore him.”

Jonghyun didn’t stop smiling, but the light had left his eyes for a long moment. And then like a candle, it flickered back. “You two are hilarious. How long have you been friends?”

“Too long,” Kibum grouched.

Minho snorted. “About three years.”

“Wow, and you guys are so close.” There was an edge to Jonghyun’s voice that had Kibum and Minho glance at each other weirdly before looking back at Jonghyun. “Ah, sorry, I’m just sad I left all my friends behind.”

“We’re your friends now,” Minho said, wrapping an arm around Jonghyun’s shoulder. “Tell us about Tokyo, what was it like?”

Jonghyun chuckled. “Pretty. Warm. Busy.”

“I’ve always wanted to go to Tokyo,” Kibum mused, staring up at the sky. He then looked back at Jonghyun with a bright smile. “You’re lucky you got to live there.”

Jonghyun bites his lower lip as a slow smile forms on his face. “Yeah, I was lucky.” He then quickly changed the subject, his eyes glistening. “If you guys are so rich, why don’t you have chauffeurs?”

“What the hell?” Kibum spluttered.

“What kind of reality do you live in?” Minho asked, his face cracking with laughter.

“What? I just assumed rich kids like you had chauffeurs.”

“No,” Kibum shook his head. “Not in this life.”

“Jinki-hyung can drive but only with an adult present and never with Taemin in the car,” Minho said.

“So basically, he never drives,” Kibum corrected. Jinki’s devotion to his younger brother was often the butt of many jokes in the band.

Within a few more minutes the three arrived at Kibum’s house and Jonghyun began to look a lot happier, joining in with Minho during a few jibes at Kibum’s hair in his elementary school photos as well as Jinki’s braces from back in middle school. But, even amongst all the mirth and joy in Jonghyun’s eyes, Kibum could easily see the loneliness and sadness hidden inside.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> warning: brief violence and homophobia in this chapter, please be cautious when reading.

By the time Wednesday rolled around, Jonghyun had fit himself amongst the group easily, as if he’d always been a part of the band. He lay on Kibum’s father’s chaise longue, bare feet pressed against plush velvet as he lazily strummed a few notes from _Dream Girl_ as Jinki sang along quietly.

Kibum and Taemin had crowded around Minho, who was starting a game on his phone. Taemin had taken to clinging over Minho’s shoulder, lips nearly caressing the shell of his ear as he watched with slow, steady breath whereas Kibum traded glances between the screen and Jonghyun.

“Ah, Jonghyun, that’s the wrong note,” Jinki corrected, lowering the sheet of music he had been using to track Jonghyun’s progression. Jonghyun sighed and propped himself up further on the sofa.

“Sorry, hyung, lemme try again. From the chorus this time.”

Jinki nodded along before turning to look at Kibum over his shoulder just as he was glancing up at the two with a suspicious look in his eyes. Upon being caught he immediately lowered his head and pretended to offer some vague advice to Minho who shrugged him off.

“Hyung, what the hell,” Taemin whispered, shaking his head.

“Kibum-ah,” Jinki called out. “Come help Jonghyun.”

Kibum sighed dramatically and pushed himself away from Minho. He made a big show by grabbing his bass from the corner and flinging himself onto one of the ottomans. His father would kill him if he was seen sitting on them, but his father was currently out of town so no harm would be done.

“You didn’t have to,” Jonghyun said meekly, staring at Kibum with an odd look in his eyes. “I can get this by myself.”

“You’ve made the same mistake twice,” Jinki reminded the guitarist. “Just let Kibum show you the ropes, he taught CNU.”

“Who’s CNU?” Jonghyun asked, his eyes narrowing.

“Our old guitarist,” Kibum explained, nonchalantly. He quickly strummed a few chords before grabbing the sheet of music from Jinki. The singer then stood up and walked over to Minho and Taemin, leaving the two to their own devices. Kibum inhaled deeply before scooting closer to Jonghyun, who had now sat up completely, watching Kibum.

“Was he any good?” Jonghyun then asked and Kibum glanced up at him through thick lashes.

“What?”

“CNU, was he any good?”

Kibum shrugged his shoulders. “He was… alright. He’s not as good as you.”

Jonghyun seemed to be pleased with Kibum’s pandering answer and that stupid lopsided grin took over his face. He then bit on his lower lip and looked down at the sheet of music. He reached out to take it, his fingers brushing over Kibum’s for a second and the bassist jerked his hand back. The sheet fell to the floor. “Sorry?” Jonghyun said, bewildered.

“No, sorry, I wasn’t expecting you to take it,” Kibum replied, bending over his bass to pick the sheet up and handing it to Jonghyun. “You’re playing a flat when you should play a sharp,” Kibum instructed, pointing at the piece where Jonghyun had screwed up on.

“Oh, shit, you’re right… How did I miss that?” Jonghyun laughed, scratching his head.

Kibum laughed quietly with him and shook his head. “No idea, but now you know. Let’s play from the top.”

“Oh man,” Jonghyun whined but did as Kibum said. The bassist did his best to ignore the three pointed gazes boring a hole into his back.

* * *

Friday came around again and Kibum was looking forward to movie night with his friends. He picked the perfect film this time, Taemin and Jinki were huge nerds for _Star Wars_ , and with the newest rendition finally out on DVD, he had snatched up instantly. But, he kept it under wraps when the brothers asked what the showing would be that night.

The five walked to Kibum’s house together that afternoon, ignoring the jeers that came from behind, pointed towards Taemin but ricocheting across the group. Jonghyun tensed and made a move to turn around; fists balled and ready but Kibum’s hand squeezed his bicep gently.

“It’s not worth it,” Kibum said with a defeated smile.

“But they-“

“Just, ignore them, hyung,” Taemin said, the same sad smile on his own face but there was a pain in his eyes that Kibum didn’t have.

“How can I just ignore it?” Jonghyun asked, staring over his shoulder at the group of jocks who had permeated around the gates, watching the five with focused interest. “You just let them do this?”

“What else can we do?” Minho asked as Jinki came and looped a comforting arm around Taemin’s shoulders. “It’s not like we’d win.”

“The country agrees with them anyway,” Jinki spat out bitterly. “We’re a minority.”

“No! We’ll be the majority one day,” Jonghyun bargained. He had stopped walking and turned to look back at the jocks once more. “I’m going to say something.”

“You’ll make it worse!” Kibum hissed. “Think about what you’re doing!” He reached out and grabbed at Jonghyun’s arm to pull him back but reeled it in when Jonghyun shot him a look that was unfamiliar and painful. A repressed emotion that Kibum had never seen in his eyes until now.

Before anyone could stop him, Jonghyun was marching over to the group with purpose. “Stop him!” Kibum cried at Jinki, grabbing the lapels of his blazer. “You’re on the student council, you have authority!”

“I’m only part of the treasury, Kibum-ah!” Jinki defended, a little lost at the blazing urgency in Kibum’s voice. The four watched on with baited breath as their lone member walked over to the jocks and said a few words. They could see from his gestures that he was angry – no, he was _furious_.

And then one of them, Kibum recognised as Siwon, raised his fist and took a swing at Jonghyun’s face. The four cried out his name before running over, and huddling around him. Kibum got onto his haunches to help Jonghyun up. “You better watch yourself,” Siwon snarled, nursing the cuts on his knuckles. “People might start thinking you’re a fag too.” He never lifted his gaze from Jonghyun who stared at him with a tearful, angered glare. Siwon then looked to the rest of the group with a smug smile. “We’ll give you a five minute head start.”

* * *

Kibum peeked out through his curtains, watching as the hockey dorks raced past his house, looking around for the large group of five. Minho had placed an ice-pack on Jonghyun’s cheek and Taemin was sat huddled in the corner. Jinki walked up and joined Kibum, placing a hand on his shoulder. Kibum jumped involuntarily but smiled, relieved, when he saw who it was.

“Kibum, let’s just watch the movie and forget about this.”

Kibum sighed heavily. He then turned to Jonghyun with a pitiful smile. “You didn’t have to do that,” he said, bending down and placing a hand on Jonghyun’s knee to keep him upright. “We’re all used to it.”

“It’s my fault,” Taemin whispered.

“It’s no one’s fault but theirs!” Kibum said, pointing to the window. “They’re the one with the issues, not us.”

“How long has this been going on?” Jonghyun asked, taking the ice pack away for a second to move his jaw slowly. He then pressed it gently against his cheek once more, wincing.

“A few years. Taemin came out during a dance performance at a talent show and he’s pretty much been considered an outcast,” Minho explained, taking a seat on the arm rest beside Taemin. Kibum didn’t miss the hand that snaked around his neck, fingers brushing over reddened skin gently.

“God, this is awful,” Jonghyun said, his voice breaking a little.

“Are… Are you crying?” Kibum then asked, a little surprised.

“What? Am I not allowed to?” Jonghyun barked out. “I just got punched in the face!”

“No, you’re allowed to, of course you’re allowed to,” Kibum said, his tone trailing off from certain to unsure.

“I’m gonna use the bathroom,” Jonghyun then announced, standing up suddenly, knocking Kibum onto his backside.

“Do you think he’s okay?” Jinki then asked when the guitarist left and stormed upstairs.

“Hyung,” Kibum dead-panned. He knew there was an underlying message in the way Jinki asked but he didn’t really want to think about it, not right now. The hockey guys had been verbal and disgusting, but not once has Taemin been on the target end of their physical violence. Kibum and Jinki had both suffered from Siwon’s pent-up rage, but Jonghyun was new, he had never done anything wrong, so what made him an okay target to hit? “I’m going to go check on him.”

He walked up the stairs carefully and knocked on the main bathroom’s door. No response.

“Hyung?” Kibum called out.

“Kibum?” His voice sounded coarse and tired, as if he had been crying.

“Yeah, it’s me. Are you okay?”

There was a large pause that had Kibum’s heart sinking to his feet. “The door’s unlocked,” Jonghyun then said, sniffling.

Kibum opened the door slowly, poking his head around before entering completely. Jonghyun sat on the toilet seat, half a roll of toilet paper in his hands. Bits of fluff stuck to his eyes where he had used it to wipe away his tears.

“It’s not fair, Kibum,” Jonghyun said, his voice thick and wavering. He pressed the tissues against his eyes. “Taemin doesn’t deserve that.”

Kibum didn’t know what to say. “You didn’t deserve it either.” Jonghyun froze immediately and glanced up at the bassist worriedly. “To get hit. You didn’t deserve to get hit. You’re a good guy and I think Taemin appreciates it even if he is blaming himself for what’s happened.”

“I’d do it for anyone,” Jonghyun said, staring at the marbled floor.

“I have a feeling you would,” Kibum said, taking a seat on the edge of his mother’s beloved claw footed bathtub. “That’s why you’re such a good guy.”

“You don’t think that,” Jonghyun then said. “I’ve noticed the way you watch me, suspicious and untrusting.”

Kibum scratched at the inside of his wrist. Yes, that had been the initial reason, but Kibum wasn’t so sure anymore. “I will admit… I was a bit unsure of you, but after today, I really don’t think that anymore. I’m sure the other guys feel the same way. We’ve all stood up for Taemin at one point on another…” Kibum then rubs away some of the eye pencil covering his brow. “I got this from slamming my head into a desk after Siwon slapped me across the face for telling him to leave Taemin alone.” Kibum then chuckled darkly. “He never hits Taemin though, just anyone who has something to say.”

“He sounds like a jackass,” Jonghyun scoffed.

“A lot more than a jackass, if that’s possible,” Kibum said, rolling his eyes. Jonghyun cracked a smile and Kibum’s chest felt lighter. “You can stay over tonight if you don’t feel safe going home.”

“You mean it?” Jonghyun asked. “You’re sure?”

“Of course.” Kibum rolled his eyes again. “I wouldn’t ask otherwise.”

Jonghyun flashed him a genuine smile and a hand came out to wrap around Kibum’s own. He squeezed it gently and Kibum’s world filled with colours momentarily before a knock at the bathroom door brought it back to a dull monotone.  “Are you two okay? You’ve been in there for like half an hour and Taemin really wants to watch _Star Wars_.”

“That little shit!” Kibum yelled, standing up immediately. Jonghyun’s touch fell away and Kibum found himself missing it, if only for a brief second. He flung the door open to Jinki’s wide eyed, questioning gaze. He took one look at the roll of tissue in Jonghyun’s hand and the puffy look to his eyes but didn’t say anything further. “Come with me, hyung,” Kibum demanded, taking hold of Jinki’s wrist and leading him away from the bathroom, shooting Jonghyun a polite smile, a smile that read: _come down when you’re ready_.

Jonghyun came down to the family room five minutes later, Kibum setting up the DVD into the player with Taemin hovering around him impatiently. He took a seat on the Victorian love seat with an expectant smile. When Kibum took the seat beside him, he didn’t miss the way Jonghyun’s fingers played with the exposed skin of his wrist through the movie, or the glances he kept giving him. For some reason, it made Kibum feel on top of the world, but he couldn’t quite figure out why.


	6. Chapter 6

A clatter coming from the kitchen awoke Kibum with a start. There was a heavy weight pressing against his chest he realised as his eyes fluttered open to the white of his ceiling. A soft voice murmured into his ear and Kibum glanced at the source beside him. His heart stuttered when he saw Jonghyun snuggling himself into the curve of Kibum’s body.

With a gentle shove, and trying not to think about why his hands lingered on Jonghyun’s exposed chest, Kibum pushed the dead weight from himself and climbed out of his bed. He tiptoed over Minho, still fast asleep on the air-mattress with his face smothered in the pillow, and made his way to the kitchen.

“Ah, Kibum-ah,” his mother said with a bright smile, pulling out pots and pans and lining them up on the stove. “I was just about to make breakfast.”

Kibum scratched at his head for a second, wondering if he was dreaming this apparition of his work-a-holic mother. “Breakfast?”

“What do you kids want? I’m sure Minho’s always in the mood for kimchi stew.”

“Minho? Yeah, I’m sure he would be…” Kibum trailed off hearing a soft thus of footsteps descend down the large staircase. Kibum didn’t have to look to know that it wasn’t Minho.

“Kibum-ah?” Jonghyun questioned, sleepily, his feet padding against hardwood floor as he made his way to the mouth of the kitchen. He froze when he noticed Kibum’s mother staring at him in bemusement. “You must be Kibum’s mother. I’m Jonghyun, a friend of his. Nice to meet you.” He bowed and Kibum had to admit he was impressed by his rapid recovery.

Kibum’s mother smirked at Jonghyun. “Jonghyun? I don’t think I’ve heard of you before…” She skirted around the fact that Jonghyun was only in his boxers easily, glancing at Kibum with a funny look. “What would you like for breakfast, Jonghyun-ssi?”

Jonghyun looked at Kibum for an answer but received a simple shrug in response. “Oh, I don’t eat breakfast,” he then said.

“Nonsense! Everyone should eat breakfast!”

“My mum’s a nutritionist so…” Kibum whispered into Jonghyun’s ear. “I’ll leave you to pick breakfast whilst I go get dressed.”

“W-wait!” Jonghyun called after him as Kibum ran up the stairs and closed his bedroom door shut. Minho stirred in his sleep, shifting his head to peek one eye up at the intruder.

“Minho, wake up you lazy son of a bitch,” Kibum cursed, kicking at the air-mattress. Minho slowly woke up, stretching his back like a cat before sitting up completely. “Mum’s making breakfast.”

“Your mum’s here?” Minho asked, blinking a few times hazily. “Where’s Jonghyun-hyung?”

“I left him with her.”

“You’re evil,” Minho commented, stretching his arms over his head and yawning. “Pure evil.”

“I think Jinki-hyung and Taemin will be over in a few minutes. If they see my mum’s car in the drive, they’re going to come and have breakfast.” Kibum dug through his wardrobe for some clothes. “They always do.”

“I’m going to save Jonghyun-hyung,” Minho said, climbing off the mattress, tripping over a deflated corner and slamming body first into Kibum’s bookcase. It shuddered for a second, trinkets tinkling in disturbance, and then stilled. He then left the room completely, shaking the remaining sleep from his head.

Moments later Jonghyun came into the room, just as Kibum was stripping out of his pyjamas. “That was cruel of you,” Jonghyun pouted when he walked in and Kibum halted midway through removing his t-shirt. He didn’t say a word, hoping that Jonghyun would get the silent hint to leave whilst he dressed but instead Jonghyun took a seat on Kibum’s double bed and spread himself out, getting comfy. “Your bed is crazy comfortable.”

“Thanks,” Kibum choked out, pulling the t-shirt off over his head sharply.

“Did you know your mother makes comments about strangers’ bodies?”

“Yes,” Kibum bit out.

“She kept saying that if I want my abs to progress I need to eat more protein so now she’s making salmon for me.”

“Jonghyun,” Kibum cut off, glancing over his shoulder. “I know we’re both guys but….”

Jonghyun tilted his head to the side. “But?”

“I’m kind of getting dressed here.”

There was a moment when the tension became thick and Kibum felt Jonghyun’s stare on him change dramatically. Kibum was already deflecting his gaze from Jonghyun’s well-shaped body (just how? _How_?) and it made him uncomfortable to have Jonghyun openly staring at him as if he was a sculpture up for show. “Sorry, I didn’t realise it was an issue for you,” Jonghyun then said, standing up and leaving the room immediately.

The moment the door closed, Kibum felt terrible. It wasn’t that he hated having Jonghyun around, he just felt so self-conscious of what he had to hide that it left him feeling as if his own personal space was being invaded. Then he paused… Would he have been uncomfortable if it was Minho?

He immediately tried to shake the thought from his head, he and Minho had been friends for longer and there was nothing about Minho that had Kibum feeling jealous or insecure(he’ll never forget the day he won the ruler competition). Though, despite his reasoning for his behaviour, the guilt still lingered like a bitter taste on the tongue. Kibum left out some spare clothes for Jonghyun to wear.

* * *

“Mum still won’t let us have a dog,” Taemin said over breakfast, holding his overflowing bowl of rice as if it were a precious gem. “It’s not fair.”

Kibum snorted as he took a sip of kimchi stew. “It’s not hyung’s fault he’s allergic.”

Jinki grinned. “Thank you, Kibum-ah.”

“But, in all honesty, even if you were, I’d still buy a dog,” Kibum continued with a mischievous wink. Jinki’s smile dropped and he glared across at the bassist.

“When Kibum-ah was small, he really wanted a puppy,” Kibum’s mother commented, placing Jonghyun’s salmon in front of the empty chair. “Is he okay?” She then asked Kibum. “He’s been up there for a while.”

“I’ll go check,” Kibum said, excusing himself from the table He climbed the stairs, two at a time, and bounded to his door. A distressed voice stopped him from opening the door.

“I know, Mom, I’m sorry.” Jonghyun said, quietly. “I meant to tell you I was staying over at a friends but things happened- It doesn’t matter what things…” Kibum heard him sigh and he could picture Jonghyun running a hand through his hair. “I’m just going to stay for breakfast and then I’ll come home. Yes, I promise. I know. I love you too. Bye.”

Kibum paused for a long moment before deciding to do the right thing, even if the room was his own. He knocked on the door and waited for the come in signal. When Jonghyun answered him, he entered the room with a smile he hoped wouldn’t reveal he’d been listening to the conversation. “Breakfast is ready.”

“Thanks,” Jonghyun said with a forced smile. “Your jeans…” He pointed at the long legs and Kibum swallowed a short laugh. “Do you mind if I roll them up?”

Kibum shook his head. “That’s the look now anyway.”

“I can’t stay to practise today,” Jonghyun then said, grabbing his uniform and stuffing it into his backpack. “So, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry, we’re not practising today anyway.”

“Oh,” Jonghyun blinked. “So why is everyone here?”

“My mum’s cooking,” Kibum explained with a roll of his eyes. “Come on, you’re missing out.”

A hush fell over the dining table as Kibum and Jonghyun approached. Kibum watched as his mother scrutinised over Jonghyun’s appearance as he took the seat opposite her. “So, you’re the new guitarist?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah,” Jonghyun agreed, grabbing a pair of metal chopsticks and dug into the salmon. Kibum watched jealously as the flesh flaked away, juicy and cooked perfectly, as Jonghyun mixed the pink into his white rice. He took a few bites and sighed. “This is so good.”

“Right? Kibum’s mum makes the best food,” Taemin said, taking another bowlful of the stew and sipping it gently with the long handled spoon. “She made me a cake for my birthday once. It was delicious.”

Kibum’s mother stroked Taemin’s hair gently with a proud smile on her face and Kibum sighed. “If only my precious son would let me make him cake for his birthdays.”

“I don’t like cake,” Kibum groused.

“How can you not like cake?” Jonghyun then asked with a mouth full of salmon and rice.

“Easy, I don’t like the texture and I don’t like the sweetness,” Kibum replied, sipping his own stew.

“What’s the plan for today boys?” Kibum’s mother then asked. “Practise later?”

“Oh, no, Jonghyun-hyung has to go home,” Kibum said and the other three members gave him a confused look.

“You do?” Taemin asked.

“Yeah, sorry,” Jonghyun said with a sad smile. “My mom’s pissed that I didn’t come home last night.”

Kibum’s mother bristled at the strange language at her dinner table but brushed it off with a raised brow. “That’s not good; you shouldn’t let your mother worry.”

Jonghyun nodded. “I know, I just forgot to tell her the arrangements. She’s not really the strict kind of mother.”

“Not like me then,” Kibum’s mother said, winking at her son who rolled his eyes. He saw no reason to argue with her if she accepted she was overly strict. She then stood up, taking her dirty utensils and cutlery. “Finish up your foot and leave it for Cassandra to clean later. I’m off out, I’ll see you later Kibummie!” She blew a kiss at her son who sneered at her in disgust as she walked away.

The moment the front door closed and her car engine revved, Kibum sighed in relief. “Oh, she drives me mad.”

“Where does she go?” Minho asked. “It’s so unusual for her to be home this early.”

“You’re telling me.”

“At least she made breakfast,” Taemin said, reaching for more stew but Jinki held out a hand to stop him.

“You’ll get a stomach ache,” he explained and Taemin was left to finish his large bowl of rice instead. Jonghyun’s phone then began to ring, disturbing the entire table and he excused himself to answer the call. “What should we do if we aren’t practising?”

“Let’s go to the arcade,” Minho suggested.

“We could do our homework instead?” Jinki then reasoned. “It’s a good time to get it done.”

The other three shook their heads and excused themselves with their own empty bowls, leaving Jinki to head the table alone. “Nice try, hyung,” Taemin said, patting his brother’s shoulder sympathetically.

* * *

No one heard from Jonghyun over the weekend. He didn’t answer his phone when Kibum asked if he was up to practising on the Sunday afternoon, and he definitely didn’t respond when Kibum asked him what movie he should choose for the next Friday. Kibum felt at odds, he wasn’t used to being ignored, especially not by his friends, but something else had made root at the pit of his stomach when his messages where left unread.

He thought back to the phone conversation Jonghyun had with his mother, the conversation he thought had been private. Kibum’s mind began to run through scenarios ranging from the some-what realistic to the positively fantastical. He wondered what Jonghyun’s mother would do about the bruise on his cheek or the fact that he went home in another boy’s clothes.

However, his worrying was all for nothing when Jonghyun turned up to school on Monday morning with a blinding smile. A group of girls followed after him, calling out his name amongst weird propositions. Kibum watched from afar, with Minho, as Jonghyun made his way directly to the science wing. If he knew the two were stood there, he definitely didn’t make a move to acknowledge it.

“Am I the only one who thinks that’s weird?” Kibum asked Minho, who shrugged.

“He’s probably stressed from the attention.”

“But we’re his friends!”

Minho then stared at Kibum suspiciously. “Why do you care so much?”

“I don’t care.”

“Sure…” Minho didn’t completely drop the subject but he let Kibum’s denial slide. “Taemin and I were talking about him. And about you.”

“What about us?” Kibum asked, narrowing his eyes dangerously.

“We just think it’s weird how close you two have gotten in such a short amount of time. You’ve only known him for a week.”

It was Kibum’s turn to shrug his shoulders, with a nervous scratch at the inside of his wrist. “He’s magnetic like that.”

Minho didn’t seem convinced and he asked Kibum another question that was drowned by the sound of the school bell, alerting any stray and wandering students to head to their classrooms.

“What?” Kibum asked, yelling over the bell.

“Never mind,” Minho said, shaking his head. “It’s not important.”

Kibum didn’t quite believe Minho, he was able to read lips to a comprehensible degree and he definitely saw the word “like” formed amongst his lips. But, then again, it could easily be mistaken for another word.

Because Minho couldn’t dare be asking if Kibum liked Jonghyun. Because he didn’t. He couldn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry about the slow updates! i swear i have a good reason: i started a new job! so i'm alternating weeks between this fic and my jongyu fic: This is Our Frequency. 
> 
> thank you all for the support. i shall see you in a couple of weeks!! <3


	7. Chapter 7

Kibum skipped lunch that day, heading straight to the music room. There he found Jonghyun, hunched over a roughed-up notebook, scribbling furiously. Kibum took a deep breath and slowly opened the door. The sound jerked Jonghyun from his work and he turned around with wide eyes.

“Oh, it’s just you Kibum-ah,” Jonghyun said, a wide relieved smile spreading over his features. He looked really beautiful today, the sun hitting his golden skin in a supernatural glow, and his bleached white hair glistened like specks of stardust. “What’s up?”

“I remembered you said last week that you eat lunch up here and I thought…” _What did I think?_ Kibum asked himself. _That I could join him?_

“You want to join me?” Jonghyun asked, as if he could read Kibum’s mind. He shifted his seat along the table, nudging his notebook with him and allowed Kibum to take another spare chair and place it next to him. He then turned back to his notebook, reading through a few lines of wobbly Hangeul, crossing out poetic lines that didn’t fit and circling specific phrases he liked. Kibum opened his lunch box and picked at the kimchi pancake his mother had rolled up to fit alongside a large portion of rice, strips of seaweed mixed in.

“Don’t you have anything to eat?” Kibum asked as he tore up a piece of the pancake and nibbled on it.

“I already ate,” Jonghyun said dismissively. He didn’t look up from his notebook.

“Are you still hungry? You usually go get an apple, don’t you?”

Jonghyun actually did look up this time and smiled. “Not today. I’m not in the mood.”

“Jonghyun, what’s going on?” Kibum then asked, shoving aside his lunchbox and turning to face the elder completely. He looked up, perturbed, and the sun shone on him like an interrogation light.

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve been avoiding me – _us -_ and now you’re lying to me.”

“I’m not lying,” Jonghyun scoffed and Kibum laughed. “What?”

“I haven’t known you long but I know your nostrils flare when you lie.”

Jonghyun slapped a hand over his nose. “They do not!”

“Do too. Remember when Jinki-hyung asked you if you did your Calculus homework and you said you had? Your nostrils flared and I thought it was a bit strange, but then I realised it’s your tell because I caught you doing your homework an hour later.”

Jonghyun sighed. “You got me. I’m lying. I don’t have any lunch.”

“Why not?”

Jonghyun gripped his pen. “My mom… She works two jobs to make sure we’re able to live… I don’t have it like you guys, I’m not rich.”

Kibum felt his heart sink like a stone and he suddenly felt sick, the bitter feeling of guilt back again, coating his tongue like grease. “I’m sorry…”

“She can’t afford to feed me all the time so sometimes I go with… sometimes without. The days when I get an apple from the cafeteria are the days I go without.”

Kibum fiddled with the cuff of his blazer for a few moments, trying to not think of the implications of Jonghyun’s phone call on Saturday. “Have my lunch with me,” he then offered, pushing the box towards Jonghyun.

“You sure?”

“Sure as sure can be,” Kibum replied with a smile. He handed over a pair of his favourite chopsticks to Jonghyun who took a large portion of seaweed rice and stuffed it into his mouth. “You know, you should’ve said something earlier. My mum always makes more food than I can eat.”

Jonghyun shook his head. “No way.”

“Why not?” Kibum demanded, tearing another piece of the pancake off and chewing on it.

“It’d be like I was asking for charity.”

“Jonghyun, you’re our friend. We always help our friends.” The two then stared at each other silently for a second, a soft genuine smile sweeping over Jonghyun’s lips and Kibum did his best to fight off that flighty feeling in his chest, hovering in his throat.

“Thanks Kibum, you’re a good friend.” Jonghyun paused, taking another piece of rice. “Want to read my new song?”

“You’re writing a song?” Kibum asked, scooting closer and he caught a whiff of that same perfume. He always smelled so good, like he walked out of a fashion magazine. If Vogue had a scent, he was sure Jonghyun would be it.

“Yeah, but it’s not very good at the minute…”

“Show me!”

Jonghyun laughed bashfully and handed over the notebook. Kibum snatched it away and traded it for the lunchbox that Jonghyun polished off with an appreciative groan. “It’s still a draft though…”

“It’s good!” Kibum said, looking over at his friend and that same soft smile came back. “You should show Jinki-hyung. He’d love it.”

“Oh, no way,” Jonghyun declined, shaking his head rapidly. He took the notebook back and closed it. “I could never let you guys sing it. It’s not good enough.”

“Hyung, it’s good.”

Kibum sounded so sure of himself that Jonghyun didn’t argue any further. Instead, he turned his gaze out to the window, watching as the trees bowed in the summer breeze. “Thanks, Kibum-ah.”

“Actually, you can call me Key,” Kibum said. “It’s a nickname Taemin came up with, but only close friends use it.”

And Kibum swore he could see a million galaxies light up in Jonghyun’s eyes when he realised that Kibum was referring to him as a close friend. The feeling Kibum had in his heart whenever Jonghyun looked like he could see the world in Kibum’s face had never felt so good before. If this was true friendship, Kibum decided, he wanted to keep it forever.

* * *

“The talent show is coming up soon,” Nicole said, a few weeks later. She was still sulking over Kibum ditching her for Jonghyun, but forgave him when he explained the reason why. Over the few weeks of getting know Jonghyun better, and keeping his home life a secret, the two had grown closer and Jonghyun had given up his secret “lunches” in the music room to sit with Kibum and share his whenever offered. Today was gimbap again, minus the carrots, and Jonghyun had already scoffed down two-thirds of the food whilst Kibum munched on a few slices of yellow pickled radish.

“Talent show?” Jonghyun echoed, sneaking another piece of gimbap. “We should enter.”

“What do you think we’ve been practising so hard for?” Kibum asked incredulously, staring at his friend with disbelief.

“I just thought Jinki-hyung liked us to work hard.”

Kibum snorted. “I mean, you’re not wrong.”

“You two have gotten really close since Jonghyun-oppa auditioned,” Nicole commented with a sly smile. “So, you’ve been here a few weeks, oppa, anyone caught your eye yet?”

Kibum felt Jonghyun’s gaze flicker to his face but he tried not to think about any further implications, Jonghyun was a man of secrets, a real Pandora’s box, and Kibum was not keen to find what was locked away inside. “I think so,” Jonghyun then said and Kibum stared at him again, agape. “What?”

“Who?” Kibum and Nicole asked simultaneously and Jonghyun leant back in surprise.

“It’s a secret,” Jonghyun said, pressing his finger against his lips. “Can I have one of those?” He asked, pointing at the radish. Kibum handed one over and took a piece of gimbap in return. He remained silent as Nicole pressed further, itching to get a name.

“Just give me a hint. Does she have brown hair?”

“Yes,” Jonghyun said. “They’re from Daegu.”

Nicole gasped and Kibum squeezed his eye shut, his heart couldn’t stop thudding in his chest, did this mean what he thought it meant? Surely he wasn’t the only person in the school from Daegu. “Oh my God!” Nicole squealed. “You like Irene?” She whispered, leaning closer to Jonghyun.

Irene? Kibum looked over his shoulder to where his Literature classmate sat. She was pretty, Kibum couldn’t deny, with a small face and petite nose. She sat like a regal, with importance, but her eyes always looked a little lost in conversations, as if she were looking for an answer to a rhetorical question. Figured Jonghyun would like her, she’s completely his type.

Another, brand new feeling in Kibum’s stomach made itself known, bubbling in his gut, swirling the food he had eaten in a nauseating windmill. His chest felt heavy and constricted, like he was trapped in an iron vice that only got tighter.

“Oh, I…” Jonghyun glanced to Irene for a second, before his gaze landed on Kibum and then turned back to Nicole. He then shrugged his shoulders. “I said it was a secret.”

 _That wasn’t a yes_ , Kibum reasoned. But… it wasn’t a _no_ either. The nausea began to build up and Kibum could feel the tumbling sensation that had him lurching in surprise. “I need to go.” He immediately stood up and ran out of the cafeteria. He raced to the bathroom and slammed one of the stall doors shut. The feeling began to build in his chest, in his throat, bitter and acidic and then Kibum began to cry. “Why am I crying?” He asked himself, slumping to the floor and wiping away his endless tears with the sleeve of his expensive blazer.

He pulled out his phone and rummaged through his unused contacts before calling Jinki with a shaky hand. He picked up after the first few rings. “Kibum-ah?”

“Hyung, help me…” Kibum choked out.

“Kibum-ah, where are you?” Jinki asked, immediately alarmed.

“I’m in the cafeteria bathroom… I think I’m unwell…”

“Stay there, Kibum-ah, I’ll come get you.” Jinki hung up with purpose and Kibum leant his head back against the bathroom door. He felt like this a few times before, but it had never been this intense. In kindergarten, when he stole Minah’s chopsticks so that she would eat lunch with him, but then ended up eating with someone else. In middle school when he gave Arisa Yagi roses on White Day after she gave the whole of their English class chocolates, but she told him she was already seeing someone. He knew those feelings were envy, guilt, and regret… But this time it felt different. It felt like something was unobtainable amongst those feelings.

The bathroom door swung open and Kibum smiled. His saviour had arrived.

“Kibum-ah?” The disembodied voice called out and Kibum wanted to scream. That wasn’t Jinki. “Key, are you in here?”

“Yeah, I am,” Kibum replied, giving up. He stood up on two unsteady legs and opened the door. Jonghyun stood by the row of polished sinks with a concerned frown. “What’s up?” Kibum asked, trying to appear jovial.

“Dude, what’s wrong? Are you sick or something?”

“I think so, my tummy feels funny…” Kibum rubbed at his stomach to prove his point. Jonghyun didn’t move when Kibum walked up to him.

“Key… There’s something I need to tell you.”

“If it’s about Irene, I should warn you… It won’t be taken well if you start dating,” Kibum said, half joking, half something else that he thinks _might_ be severity.

Jonghyun laughed sarcastically. “It’s not about Irene. It’s about me.”

Kibum washed his hands, trying to avoid the desperate look in Jonghyun’s eyes. “What about you?”

“I’m gay, Kibum-ah.”

Kibum stopped washing his hands immediately and stared at Jonghyun. “You are?”

“Yeah, I am,” Jonghyun said, nodding his head. “But, you can’t tell anyone.”

“I wouldn’t…” Kibum said softly. Jonghyun pushed himself away from the sinks and moved closer to Kibum. His eyes had changed now, shifted from desperation to need and want. Kibum felt frozen on the spot; that sickly feeling of jealousy had begun to dissipate and Kibum felt lighter, walking on air. Jonghyun came close, their bodies almost touching and Jonghyun brushed away a strand of Kibum’s brunet hair. “I’m thinking of dying my hair,” Kibum then said, to shift the mood as best as he could. He wasn’t lying to Minho when he said that Jonghyun was magnetic. An unstable attraction that Kibum pulled further into his orbit, gravitating between the real and the impossible.

“What colour?” Jonghyun asked, his voice low and soft and Kibum could almost whimper. What on Earth was happening to his body?

“Green…”

Jonghyun chuckled, it was deep in his throat and Kibum closed his eyes, anticipating something. “That would look cute. We should all dye our hair. I think Jinki-hyung would look super fun with pink hair.”

Kibum laughed. “You shouldn’t. Dye your hair. It suits you like this.” _You look like an angel._

Jonghyun smiled and leaned down a little. Kibum could feel warm air fan against his cheeks but it disappeared when the door swung open and Jinki stood in the doorway, looking a little confused. “Key? I thought you weren’t feeling well.”

“I’m not,” Kibum replied, looking away from Jonghyun’s unreadable gaze. “I want to go home.”

“Alright, let’s go sign you out then,” Jinki said, holding his hand out for Kibum to take. The bathroom door swung shut, leaving Jonghyun alone in the bathroom, a myriad of hurt, confusion, and dejection on his face and Kibum’s heart became five times tighter in his chest. He couldn’t breathe anymore. Not around him.

Something about Jonghyun took his breath away and not necessarily in a good way.


	8. Chapter 8

The problem with childhood friends, Kibum deduced, was that they would let themselves into your house at any given point because they were all practically family. Jinki and Taemin had a spare key to Kibum’s house (or rather their parents had a spare key and it was always stolen) in case of emergencies when Kibum’s parents were away. Most of the time they only used it on Friday evenings when they would pop by as Kibum and Minho were making popcorn or sorting out which movie to feature, but today was the first day they used it with an actual purpose.

Kibum went to bed the moment he came home, wrapped up in his quilt despite the blistering heat. He was sweating and hyperventilating but he refused to get out of his sanctuary. Jinki and Taemin came around straight after school with some chocolates bought from a nearby convenience store and some bottles of green tea. Jonghyun and Minho had decided to accompany them.

“Hyung,” Taemin said softly, the mattress dipping under his weight as her perched at the end of the bed. “Are you still not feeling well?”

“No,” Kibum replied, muffled by his quilt. “Why are you all here?”

“We’re worried about you,” Jinki said, pulling out one of the boxes of sweets and waving it in front of Kibum. He peered over the quilt and was almost enticed until his eyes met Jonghyun’s and he hid away again. “Maybe you two should leave,” Jinki directed to Jonghyun and Minho.

“Is he going to be okay?” Jonghyun asked, and Kibum’s heart did a little flip at the worry in his voice.

“He’s going to be fine. Key has a flair for the dramatic,” Minho said, pulling Jonghyun out of the room with him and closing the door.

“Hyung, talk to us,” Taemin pleaded, pulling down fortress Kibum had made with his quilt. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I’m just not feeling myself,” Kibum replied. He hoped to God he didn’t have an obvious tell like Jonghyun. Even if he didn’t, Jinki knew him long enough to recognise when he was telling the truth and when he was not.

“You sounded like you were crying on the phone,” Jinki said, hovering at the foot of the bed awkwardly. Kibum sat up and made a gesture for Jinki to take a seat. He did.

“I was,” Kibum replied.

“Is there something bothering you? Did Siwon say something?” Taemin visibly winced at the mention of his name and Kibum ran a hand through Taemin’s soft black hair.

“No, I’m just being silly I think,” Kibum said, distracting himself with the damaged ends of Taemin’s hair.

Jinki snorted. “When are you not?”

“Hey!” Kibum scowled at the elder but smiled all the same. “There are a few things I need to work out about myself before I can tell you guys.”

Taemin and Jinki looked at each other with concern and Kibum wondered for a second if they were going to demand more from him, but instead he received a shrug and a kind smile. “Do you want to go practise?” Jinki then asked as Taemin snatched one of the boxes of chocolates from his brother’s hands.

“Yeah,” Kibum affirmed, nodding his head. “Let’s go practise for the talent show.”

* * *

Tuesday was an odd day for Kibum, as band practise wasn’t on. Taemin had dance after school, Jinki and Minho often stayed behind to watch but Kibum always declined the offer. He was always a little worried that seeing Taemin dance would stir a burning desire to do it again and Kibum couldn’t… Not after his humiliation on stage during middle school.

Kibum often walked home alone and did his homework, if he felt like, or watched a few dramas if he didn’t.

“Are you busy?” Jonghyun asked during lunch. He and Kibum had taken to sitting outside with the weather getting warmer. Under the shade of a blossomed cherry tree, Kibum felt like the world could stand still for an hour or two, just with Jonghyun by his side.

“Today?”

“Yeah.” Jonghyun grabbed a piece of fried chicken (Kibum’s mum’s treat). “I’ve been writing a few more songs and I want to show you them.”

“Cool. So the music room after school?” Kibum arranged.

“Ah, no…” Jonghyun trailed off. “I was actually thinking you could come round to my house. It’s not big and fancy like yours but it’s not bad either. I think my mom will be home too.”

Kibum suddenly felt uneasy. He would be going round to Jonghyun’s house alone, no other members to help cut the tension that seemed to grow thick between him and Jonghyun. But then, he suddenly felt as if he was being unreasonable. He’d been to Jinki’s house alone before, and he’d been round to Minho’s condo. So, what made this so different? “Sure, I’d love to come over.”

Jonghyun’s smile could outshine the sun, Kibum was certain.

Jonghyun waited for him after the bell rang, surrounded by a small group of girls that Kibum realised were from Jonghyun’s year.

“Kibum-ah!” He called out, hand waving above the sea of ponytails and plaits. He looked like he was drowning and Kibum wouldn’t doubt if Jonghyun felt like he was too. He parted the sea and gave the girls a quick wink and a flirty smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow girls.”

“Jonghyun, don’t go!” One of the girls cried out.

“I have band practise. Don’t forget to support us during the talent show!” Jonghyun called out as he walked backwards, keeping up with Kibum’s fast pace.

The girls chorused an almighty “We will!” together and Kibum felt a shiver run down his spine. He couldn’t help but feel a little envious. Jonghyun was gay but somehow managed to get way more attention than he did, and he was _straight_!

“My house is a bit far out so we’re gonna have to take the bus,” Jonghyun informed Kibum as they left the gates. “Is that okay?”

“It’s not like I’ve never taken public transport before,” Kibum scoffed and Jonghyun laughed cheerfully, raising his hand to cover his mouth as he did.

“Say, what was wrong with you yesterday?” Jonghyun then asked when they reached the bus stop.

“I ate something funny,” Kibum lied. He wondered if his lack of tell would work on Jonghyun.

“Dang, was it the gimbap?” Jonghyun suddenly looked a little pale.

“No, it was something I ate at breakfast,” Kibum explained.

“Do you know what song we’re playing for the talent show?” Jonghyun asked, changing the topic as swiftly as he could change chords on his guitar.

“Jinki-hyung’s thinking _Dream Girl_ but we all want to do a fun song like _Runaway_ ,” Kibum mused. “But, perhaps I’ll find a diamond amongst your songs.” Kibum winked at Jonghyun who scuffed his feet across the asphalt shyly.

“Ah, I don’t think we’d win with my songs.”

Kibum slapped his upper arm. “Stop being so self-deprecating. You’re good, okay!”

Jonghyun grinned at Kibum, lopsided and illuminating and Kibum felt that fluttering feeling in his chest again. Suddenly, Jonghyun stepped onto the street, holding his thumb out and a bus slowly came to a stop. “It’s this one.”

Kibum and Jonghyun climbed on, Kibum paying for a return ticket and Jonghyun flashing his bus card at the driver. The blond took a seat at the back of the bus, propping his trainers up against the head-rest of the seat in front of him. “I gotta ask,” Jonghyun piped up a few minutes after the bus departed. He was staring out of the window, gazing at the passing scenery.

“Ask what?” Kibum prompted and Jonghyun tore his gaze away to look at Kibum directly.

“You and Minho… Are you two…?” Jonghyun trailed off, raising his eyebrows to emphasise his meaning.

“No.” Kibum said curtly, trying to hold back his disgust. It wasn’t dating a guy that disgusted him, but Minho was like a brother and besides, he was certain the tall, dumb jock had the hots for Taemin anyway.

“Okay,” Jonghyun replied, thin lipped. “Good.”

“Why?”

“It’s just weird that he always sleeps in your room,” Jonghyun said.

“But, so do you,” Kibum pointed out with a smirk.

Jonghyun glanced at Kibum with a look he had never seen before. A dark, unreadable expression. “Yeah, I guess I do… Anyway, what’s going on with Minho and Taemin?”

“Why did you ask me if I was dating Minho if you thought there was something going on with him and Taemin?”

Jonghyun shrugged a shoulder. “I was just curious because if you were, I was gonna say I think you should end it because he’s definitely into Taemin.”

Kibum laughed softly. “You’ve noticed too huh?”

“Gay’s intuition,” Jonghyun said, tapping the side of his nose. “Though, I think Taemin’s oblivious.”

“Taemin’s always oblivious.”

“I know someone else who’s oblivious too,” Jonghyun said, turning his gaze back to the window.

“Who?” Kibum asked, grabbing onto Jonghyun’s shirt sleeve. Jonghyun only turned back and did the same nose-tapping motion from before and Kibum pouted.

* * *

The bus stopped a few streets from Jonghyun’s house and the two spent the rest of the journey talking about nothing. Jonghyun talked about his latest fascination with Captain America and Kibum talked about his new discovery in an American band called Walk The Moon.

“Here we are,” Jonghyun suddenly announced, ceasing any further conversations. Kibum stared up at the small house. It was squeezed between two identical houses, all with red brickwork and dull grey shingle roofs. Jonghyun strolled up to the door and fished around in his pants’ pocket for a key. The door swung open with a heavy creak and Jonghyun allowed Kibum to step inside first.

The first thing Kibum heard when the door was closed behind him was the skittering sound of nails against a wooden floor. A puff of black and brown fur appeared from around a corner, paws moving too quickly for its body to keep up.

“Roo!” Jonghyun called out, bending down and patting his legs. The dog raced over to its owner and jumped up, licking a soft pink tongue against Jonghyun’s jaw. Jonghyun then picked the little dog up and introduced it to Kibum. “Roo, this is Kibum. Kibum, this is my puppy, Roo.”

Kibum held out his hand for the dog to sniff. It pressed its nose against Kibum’s finger tips before licking at the soft skin.

“She likes you,” Jonghyun said before putting Roo back on the floor. “I think my mom’s in the kitchen. Mom?”

“In here, my lovely son!” Jonghyun gestured Kibum to follow him to the kitchen.

“Mom, I told you to stop calling me that,” he said, teasingly before skipping up to her and kissing her gently on the cheek. “I brought home a friend from school.”

“Hello Mrs Kim, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Kim Kibum,” Kibum said, bowing politely. Jonghyun’s mother was shorter than Jonghyun but they had the same kind eyes and soft, round nose.

“Oh, he’s so polite,” Jonghyun’s mother cooed. “And pretty,” she whispered to her son.

“Mom…” Jonghyun whined, face turning a soft shade of pink.

His mother then quickly changed the subject, satisfied with embarrassing her son for the day. “I’m making some omurice for dinner, Jongie… Are you staying Kibum?”

“Oh-“

“Yeah, he is,” Jonghyun answered for him with a wink.

“Well, I’m sure there will be plenty. I have to go to work later; I had to take on a night shift. Don’t wait up for me.”

“Okay, Mom,” Jonghyun sang before leaving the kitchen, grabbing two shiny red apples as he did. Kibum bowed to his mother once more before following Jonghyun out of the kitchen.

“Your mum seems really nice. I’ve never had omurice before.”

“Oh, it’s my favourite. She would cook it all the time in back in Japan.”

“You must miss Japan, huh?” Kibum surmised.

Jonghyun stopped outside his bedroom door. Roo sat at his feet, waiting patiently for it to be opened for her. “I miss financial stability. My dad walked out on my mom and me and that’s why we had to move back here. My grandparents are here so my mom can go to them for help, but she never really does…”

“I’m so sorry,” Kibum said softly, touching Jonghyun’s upper arm gently.

“It’s alright, from the looks of it, I think you understand where I am… With the abandonment thing, not the finance thing.”

Kibum felt cold, Jonghyun could read him so perfectly, he never had to say a word. It took a year for Kibum to tell Jinki, Taemin, and Minho why his house was always so empty but Jonghyun just knew immediately – because he had been there.

“Come on, let me show you some songs,” Jonghyun then said, opening his door. Roo immediately pushed her way through and climbed up onto a small cardboard box at the foot of Jonghyun’s single bed before struggling. Jonghyun leant over and boosted Roo’s little backside to let her onto his bed, where she curled up softly, a small ball of fur.

“She’s so cute,” Kibum said, sitting beside her. She rested her head on his lap and sighed contently. “I think I’m in love.”

Jonghyun laughed. “So am I,” he muttered under his breath.

Kibum pretended he didn’t hear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> double update this week because i had a relatively productive day and i wanted to end it on a high note!
> 
> also, i've been forgetting to mention this but you can follow me on twitter!
> 
> @jjong_bluemoon
> 
> See you in a couple of weeks <3


	9. Chapter 9

The next day Kibum and Jonghyun revealed the song that Jonghyun had been working on by himself. He had titled it as _View_ and played it for the entire band during practise, him and his guitar only. The room was still and silent when he finished and Jinki was the first to applaud.

“I love it!” Jinki said. “Why didn’t you tell us you were writing new music?”

Jonghyun shrugged, smiling bashfully. “I guess I just never really thought of them as anything good.”

“Well, don’t,” Jinki said. “That song you just played – it’s crazy good. Do you have any spare music sheets for the rest of us?”

Jonghyun nodded, handing them out to the drummer, bassist, and synth. Jonghyun’s hand lingered on Kibum’s touch when he came to him and Kibum didn’t miss the kind, twinkling look in his eyes. Taemin whistled from behind his beloved synth and Kibum snatched the sheet back, jerking his touch away from Jonghyun.

“Taemin, don’t whistle,” Jinki admonished, not looking behind him as he ran over the words a few times.

“Sorry, hyung,” Taemin replied, grinning wolfishly at Kibum.

They played the song a few times, really getting into the groove and Kibum had to admit, it was better than any song they had come up with on their own. Jonghyun had flair for the mystic and whimsical, even if the lyrics were a little suggestive.

They played the song for a week straight, only stopping on Tuesdays and Fridays, and even then, Jinki would spend every spare minute singing the high notes Jonghyun had so painfully written for him. By the end of the first week of practising _View_ , Jinki asked Jonghyun to duet with him on the song, and Jonghyun had accepted gratefully. The song sounded so much better with the silken honey vocals of Jinki, and the haunting beauty hidden deep in Jonghyun’s high notes.

Friday brought the group into Kibum’s family room, crowding around his large screen TV as they watched a comedy chosen by Jinki. Kibum and Jonghyun were once again on the loveseat, Jonghyun’s hand resting on Kibum’s thigh comfortably, and Kibum thinking nothing of it…

Until Taemin opened his fat mouth.

It happened during the popcorn break where Kibum got up to refill the glass bowl that Taemin and Jinki had massacred during the first hour of the movie. Kibum didn’t realise he was being followed until he put another packet into the microwave and set the timer.

“Hyung,” Taemin started, standing in the doorway with a wry smile on his face. “What’s going on with you Jonghyun-hyung?”

Kibum blinked owlishly before replying: “… Nothing?”

Taemin rolled his eyes and stepped forward into the kitchen. “Hyung, you know you can tell me if you’re gay.”

“I’m _not_ gay, Taemin.”

Taemin didn’t seem to believe him, raising a brow with a smirk. “Sure, and I’m a terrible dancer.”

“You’re an egomaniac is what you are,” Kibum scoffed. Neither of them noticed the figure that darkened the hallway, listening to every word.

“Alright, hyung, you’re _not gay_ … But you _do_ like Jonghyun-hyung, don’t you?”

“I _don’t_ like him!” Kibum exclaimed. “I would _never_ like him! In case you’ve forgotten, I’m _straight_! I don’t go for guys, and especially not guys like Jonghyun-hyung!”

Taemin turned silent and a strangled sound came from behind him. Kibum and Taemin turned to see Jonghyun staring at them with a myriad of expressions flickering across his face. The one that struck Kibum the most was the look of utter heartbreak that filled his beautiful eyes.

He then turned on his heel and headed to the front door.

 “Hyung,” Kibum called after him, pushing past Taemin to follow Jonghyun to where he was putting his shoes on, hitching his backpack up. “Hyung, don’t leave.”

“No… I want to go…” Jonghyun said softly, his voice lost in the air between them and Kibum reached out to touch him, but for the first time since they met, Jonghyun shrugged him away. “I’ll see you at school, Kibum-ah.”

Kibum watched as Jonghyun left the house, head hanging low, shoulders sagging. Then, in a blaze of incomprehensible fury he kicked everyone else out, too. “Kibum, are you going to be okay?” Jinki asked as he left.

Kibum’s voice was hollow and robotic as he replied: “Yeah… I’ll be fine.”

“Text me if you want to talk. I don’t know what happened but…”

Kibum nodded solemnly before closing the door on his oldest friend. The house was quiet aside from the chattering coming from the TV. Kibum slumped onto the sofa and began to cry. He felt like a ten year-old watching a sandcastle he had worked so hard on crumble into the ocean, washed away in blue depth. The world around him had finally stopped, even if for a fraction of a second, before it kick started and jerked Kibum into reality. Something had happened and something in Jonghyun had snapped, and Kibum was afraid to think if the same could happen to him too.

* * *

Jonghyun ignored Kibum’s texts again the following weekend and by Monday, he soon discovered why. He was late to school, but not too late to catch a group of girls crying on the steps to the front door. They looked as if they were mourning and Kibum stared at them weirdly before making his way past them.

“Why her?” One of them cried out.

“What’s so special about _her_?” Another spat.

Kibum felt his heart freeze, he recognised those girls. They were part of Jonghyun’s entourage. With a shaky hand he opened the front door and found his three friends stood off to the side. Minho and Taemin gave him a pitiful look as he walked up. “What’s going on? It’s like someone died or something…” Kibum trailed off, looking around to see the same sad face amongst more girls. What on Earth?

The three glanced at each other before Jinki broke the news. “Jonghyun asked Irene out over the weekend.”

“She said yes,” Taemin concluded. “I’m sorry, hyung.”

Kibum felt his whole world crumble around him, like grains of sand tumbling from between his fingers. He wanted everything to stop spinning, why did this hurt so badly? Why did he feel like he was about to throw up? He didn’t care about Jonghyun; he didn’t care for him in that way… So, why wouldn’t his heart stop hurting? “Why are you sorry?” Kibum laughed tensely. “I don’t care what he does.”

“Hyung…”

“I said I don’t care!” Kibum shrugged off any advances from his friends. “I’m gonna go to class. I’ll see you all later.”

“Key!” Jinki called out but Kibum didn’t turn around. He marched his way up the stairs, passing by a flash of silver blond hair and a beautiful face. His heart tensed, it felt like it was about to implode from inside his chest. He turned to look back and there was Jonghyun, holding Irene’s hand with a forced smile on his face.

He looked so beautiful, Kibum realised from the stairs. He looked so beautiful, dark skin glowing golden in the sunlight, soft eyes crinkling with every smile, and the hair that Kibum was sure had been gifted from the stars. Kibum wondered for a moment if the future of the band would be affected, but he wanted to believe that Jonghyun loved music so much he wouldn’t give it up for anything. Not even to keep his secret safe.

* * *

Practise was rough that afternoon. Kibum and Jonghyun were distant and Taemin tried multiple times to lighten the mood but it was to no avail. They continued to practise _View_ , but Jonghyun’s heart was no longer in it, Kibum could hear from the strain in his voice and the missed notes when his fingers fumbled.

The group ended everything early, feeling stressed from the tension between Kibum and Jonghyun. Multiple times during playing, Jonghyun’s phone went off and Kibum always zeroed in on the device sitting on the ottoman, he didn’t have to be close to know who it was disturbing the group.

“Hey, guys,” Jonghyun said, sitting on the chaise longue after practise officially ended. “Irene asked if she can come on Wednesday to observe.”

“No,” Kibum said immediately, scowling.

“Why not?” Jonghyun then asked, looking Kibum square in the eye.

“If you’re not going to take practise seriously, hyung…” Kibum trailed.

“You didn’t answer my question,” Jonghyun pointed out, standing up from the sofa. “Why can’t Irene come?”

“Jonghyun, I just think its best we keep it between us. Having your girlfriend here could prove to be distracting,” Jinki said, offering himself as referee.

Jonghyun stared at the lead singer and sighed. “I was curious to hear Kibum’s reason, to be honest,” he then said, his tone mocking. Kibum felt his blood run cold, why was Jonghyun suddenly being so nasty?

“It’s how hyung says,” Kibum shrugged. Jonghyun stared him down for a long moment before shaking his head.

“Whatever, I’m going to see Irene. Catch you all Wednesday.”

“See you, Jonghyun,” Jinki called after him.

“Bye, hyung!” Taemin and Minho chorused but Kibum remained silent, gripping his bass tightly.

“Key, are you okay?” Jinki asked softly, reaching out to touch Kibum’s shoulder. The moment the leader’s fingers pressed against his skin, Kibum broke down. “Key, what’s wrong?”

Kibum couldn’t say what exactly was wrong, but it just felt like his entire world was falling around him. He didn’t care that Jonghyun was dating, he was sure of that… He just cared that he was losing his best friend so suddenly and so carelessly. He wanted to blame Taemin for prodding at a situation he had nothing to do with, but ultimately, the final blow had come from his own mouth. His own words had been the weapon, the trigger to push Jonghyun away when all he wanted to do was pull him closer. Everyone went home a few hours later after watching some dramas on Kibum’s TV and once again, Kibum was left alone and for the first time in so long, he actually felt lonely.

On Wednesday, Irene came with Jonghyun to Kibum’s house despite Jinki’s advice. Kibum was furious and refused to speak a word to her the whole time, much to Jonghyun’s chagrin. At least Minho and Taemin were making efforts despite the worrying glances they continually shot at Kibum. Jinki was polite as always, despite pulling Jonghyun aside and advising him to only have this be a one-off. “She can’t come here anymore,” Jinki said as finality and Jonghyun agreed, reluctantly.

During a quick break, Kibum escaped to get a drink from the kitchen and Jonghyun finally had him cornered. “What the hell is your problem?”

“What? Me? What’s your problem?” Kibum shot back. “You’re the only who brought your girlfriend here when Jinki-hyung said no.” The word girlfriend stuck to Kibum’s tongue like a bad taste, clinging bitterly to every taste-bud. “Why are you even dating her?” He hissed. “You’re gay.”

“I am,” Jonghyun agreed. “But you have no idea what it’s like to be gay in this society.”

“ _Taemin_ does,” Kibum spat. Jonghyun walked up to him, their faces inches apart and Kibum could see that lingering loneliness in Jonghyun’s eyes, the desperation and the need to be free. He was a caged bird, looking from within his own walls of melancholy and Kibum so desperately wanted to let him out.

“ _You’re_ not _Taemin_.”

Kibum was speechless for a second, not taken aback by surprise but rather the fact that any argument he had died on his tongue. “You’re right,” he said softly. “I have no idea.”

“Kibum,” Jonghyun’s hard demeanour shifted and he reached out to hold Kibum, but he took a step back, away from the familiar touch. He was scared if he felt it again, his world would rock, and he might drown in Jonghyun’s familiarity once more. Jonghyun dropped his arm, letting it fall limply by his side. “Just… Be nice to her please.”

“Alright,” Kibum agreed, watching as Jonghyun left the kitchen without turning back. Kibum watched, his heart squeezing in an iron vice grip as a horrible realisation crashed over him, leaving him no room to come up for air. Suffocating and tight in his chest, the discovery that the reason Kibum had found Jonghyun so magnetising, so fascinating was because he _liked_ him. He liked Jonghyun so much that it felt like a freezer burn against his skin and only Jonghyun could melt away the pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And a revelation has begun. What shall Kibum do now?
> 
> you can follow me on tumblr -  
> writing blog: keyspetite.tumblr.com  
> main blog: fluffyjjong.tumblr.com


	10. Chapter 10

Irene didn’t come back on Thursday, much to Kibum’s relief. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to face her, viewing her as the obstacle between him and Jonghyun becoming close again, without overdoing the fake politeness he had promised her _boyfriend_. Thursday practise went better but Jonghyun still left earlier to meet up with his _girlfriend_ , and Kibum continued to sulk. He spoke very little to Taemin, bitterly angry at him for causing this drastic mess, but also because he was mad at himself for being the executioner on his own happiness.

Friday came and the weekend was drawing close and Kibum wondered if Jonghyun would join the group for movie night later.

“Hyung,” Taemin started, picking at his pasta salad and chewing on his lower lip. “I want to say I’m sorry… for last week.”

Kibum shrugged his shoulders. “It’s alright,” he said with a heavy sigh. He was so tired of being angry all the time. “It wasn’t your fault.”

“It was,” Taemin continued. “I know you don’t like Jonghyun-hyung…”

“Wait, what happened?” Minho asked.

“Taemin and I had an argument because he thought it was best to tease me about Jonghyun-hyung.”

“Aah.” Minho nodded along. “So, that’s why you and Jonghyun-hyung have been so volatile lately.”

Kibum scoffed. “I wouldn’t say volatile…” He trailed off and glanced away for a second. He sucked in air between his teeth and then looked back at his friends. “But, you’re wrong Taemin… I do like Jonghyun-hyung and it took this whole mess for me to realise it.”

Minho winced and Taemin sighed heavily. “Man, Jonghyun-hyung’s such trash for dating her when you were _clearly_ so into him,” Taemin said, stabbing at a piece of lettuce.

“I _wasn’t_ , but-“

“The crazy thing is, I was so sure he liked you back,” Minho butted in. “He always watched you during practise and he liked being around you the most.”

Kibum felt his heart flip in his chest, he hated being reminded how close he and Jonghyun used to be, it made the places Jonghyun had touched nonchalantly (or so he thought) freeze over like ice blocks. “What’s done is done,” Kibum said finally. “Jonghyun-hyung made his choice and he likes Irene-noona, so it’s best to let him get on with it.”

The loud bark of laughter pulled Kibum away from the conversation and he immediately turned to the source. Jonghyun was sat with Irene and her friends, laughing at a joke Seulgi had said in a bid to come across as funny (Kibum knew she wasn’t). His arm was around his _girlfriend_ and she was smiling behind her petite hand and Kibum wanted to slam her face into her food so badly. How good would she look with chicken curry running down her face?

“I’m leaving,” Kibum announced, standing up with his lunchbox. As he made his way out, his shoulder bumped into the side of someone tall and heavy.

“Watch it,” Siwon growled, pushing Kibum with such force that he collapsed into the recycling bins. The hall turned deadly silent and Kibum could feel a million eyes prick into his skin. He looked up, his dark hair hanging over his eyes but he could see Jonghyun staring at him so clearly, so worriedly and Kibum wanted nothing more than to run to him. “Oh, it’s just the fag patrol.” Siwon turned to the table where Taemin and Minho sat. “Had a gay lover’s quarrel?”

“They’re so nasty,” one of his friends commented, sneering at Kibum.

“Leave them alone!” Irene shouted from her table. “They’ve done nothing to you!”

“Yeah!” Another girl called out. A large chorus of voices began to rain down insults onto Siwon and his friends and with the distraction thoroughly away from him, Kibum made his escape, ducking out of the corridor, completely missing the way Jonghyun’s eyes trailed after him.

* * *

Jonghyun didn’t turn up that evening and remaining four were left to watch a movie that Taemin chose. Unfortunately, Kibum wasn’t interested in watching _Finding Nemo_ for the twenty-fifth time. He barely watched the movie, his eyes glazing over as he stared off into the distance. The loveseat felt so cold and empty without Jonghyun and his phone was silent despite the numerous texts Kibum had sent reminding the elder about movie night. _He’s probably with Irene_ , he thought bitterly. It sucked to know that the one you wanted was so within reach but so far away and impossible to grasp. Kibum hadn’t been lying when he said Jonghyun made his choice; he made his choice to remain in the closet and date Irene rather than be upfront about his feelings for Kibum and that made him feel even angrier.

Just as Marlin and Dory encountered the sharks, Kibum made his own choice and stood up.

“Kibum-ah?” Jinki whispered as he walked past. “Where are you going?”

“I’m going to Jonghyun-hyung’s house,” Kibum said curtly, leaving the family room to put on a pair of comfy trainers. It was late in the evening and only a few buses would run down to Jonghyun’s house so he had to be quick.

“How are you going to get there?” Jinki asked, following Kibum out.

“The bus.”

“Let me drive you,” Jinki suggested instead and Kibum scrutinised him for a second.

“You’re kidding.”

“No, let me drive you.”

“You don’t drive, hyung,” Kibum reasoned with a sardonic smile. “I’m going to take the bus.”

“No, I’m telling you, I’m driving. You two will be okay if we’re gone for a while, right?” Jinki called to the family room.

“Yeah!” Taemin replied, his tone distant and absent-minded.

“If they make out on my sofa, I will kill you,” Kibum hissed as the two left his house.

Jinki snickered for a long moment before he stopped. “Wait, Taemin likes Minho?”

“Hyung, you’re as clueless as they are,” Kibum replied, rolling his eyes.

* * *

The drive to Jonghyun’s house was silent aside from Kibum giving Jinki directions. They pulled up on the opposite side of the street and Kibum exited the car with a deep inhale. His heart thudded along with his feet against the pavement as he walked up to Jonghyun’s house and as he reached the door he pondered for a second about what he was doing.

Was he going to confess to Jonghyun? Or was he going to apologise? He really couldn’t tell but before he knew what was happening, he was knocking on the door.

It swung open a few moments later and the first thing Kibum saw was Roo, wagging her tail excitedly and yapping at him with delight. His eyes then trailed over to slender legs that disappeared under a school skirt. Kibum looked up to see he was face to face with Irene, watching him with a confused expression.

“Kibum-ah?” She questioned. God, even her voice sounded attractive – Kibum couldn’t compete with the fantasy.

“Who is it, babe?” Jonghyun called out, exiting the kitchen wearing a light blue apron. His soft white hair was tied up into a small ponytail on top of his head and he was wearing thick framed glasses and Kibum swore his breath was knocked from his chest. “Oh, Kibum. What’s up?”

Kibum was speechless. “I just wanted to um… Remind you that practise is tomorrow…”

Jonghyun smiled that lopsided grin and Kibum’s hands balled into fists. This hurt so much. “I know, I’ll be there.”

“Practise again?” Irene asked and Kibum wished she would just vanish. “You practise so much, surely Jonghyun could take the day off?”

“But-“ Kibum started.

“I thought we could have a day out tomorrow,” Irene continued, looking at Jonghyun. The guitarist looked stranded between his passion and his security and Kibum didn’t blame him for being so lost.

“Well, we can have a day out on Sunday… We won’t have practise then, right?” Jonghyun asked.

“R-right…” Kibum replied, even though he really wanted to monopolise all of Jonghyun’s time. To keep him away from her.

“See. We can go out on Sunday,” Jonghyun confirmed and then he did the worst thing Kibum could have ever imagined. Jonghyun leaned across and kissed Irene’s cheek sweetly. Kibum felt like he’d been shot, directly in his heart as his world began to slow down. Did Jonghyun enjoy torturing him? Did Jonghyun enjoy torturing himself? “Was that all, Kibum-ah?”

“Y-yeah…” Kibum replied, swallowing thickly. He felt like was going to cry.

“How did you even get here?” Jonghyun then asked.

“Jinki-hyung…” Kibum replied pathetically, pointing to Jinki’s car that was still running.

“Oh, well, better not let him wait too long. I’ll see you tomorrow,” Jonghyun said.

“See you later, Kibum-ssi,” Irene added as the door was shut in Kibum’s face. He staggered to the car and climbed into the back seat.

“You okay, Key?” Jinki asked, looking at him from his rear view mirror.

“I hate this,” Kibum said bitterly. “I hate this and I hate him.”

Jinki only smiled softly and sadly at him before driving away from Jonghyun’s house.

* * *

Minho answered the door to Jonghyun the following morning. Kibum was still in bed, trying to find the will power to get up and face him.

“You slept over again, huh?” Jonghyun asked, his tone sharp and Kibum immediately stilled, listening to the conversation.

“Yeah,” Minho replied. “I shared a bed with Kibum last night too…”

“You did.”

“I did, yeah. Kibum’s really clingy when he sleeps, isn’t he?”

Kibum could hear the jeering in Minho’s voice, pushing and prodding at Jonghyun for any reaction. “I wouldn’t know,” Jonghyun replied, his words stiff and brittle.

“ _Sure_ ,” Minho replied. “I’ll go wake him up.”

Kibum heard Minho’s footsteps ascend the staircase and in a few moments, he was at the doorway. “Minho, you’re an ass.”

“He deserves it,” Minho replied, shrugging his shoulders. “Come on, get dressed and show him what he’s missing.”

“Why do you care so much?” Kibum asked, sitting up groggily and scratching at his messy hair.

“Because you’re my best friend, Kibum and I want you to be happy. Being mopey like this is not like you at all.”

“Maybe it is now,” Kibum replied, laying back down and pulling the quilt over himself completely. Minho sighed and walked over to the bed, ripping the large quilt away and throwing it to the floor. “Hey!”

“Get up!” Minho barked out. “Come on, dude, don’t ruin this for us.”

It was Kibum’s turned to sigh as he climbed out of the bed and got dressed. He didn’t feel like showing off today but even in the plainest of jeans and t-shirt, he could still feel Jonghyun’s eyes bore into him when he entered the conservatory. “Jinki-hyung and Taemin will be here soon,” Kibum said, his voice hollow and robotic.

“Okay,” Jonghyun replied, nodding once.

After half an hour of uncomfortable silence, Kibum and Minho occupying the chaise longue, heads together as they took turns playing Minho’s new game whilst Jonghyun scrolled through his phone, Jinki and Taemin walked in with a present of their mum’s home-cooking. It was nothing too extravagant, a simple soybean soup with a few added side-dishes all boxed up into expensive china bowls.

The group ate quickly and turned to practise. Jonghyun messed up the first two notes and began to grow irritated and then Kibum followed, missing the rhythm too often and Taemin ended up losing track too.

“Come on guys,” Jinki said, arms dropping to his side. “The talent show is after the summer break and we don’t have long left to practise!”

“I’m trying!” Kibum bit out through a tense jaw. He was growing just as aggravated with himself as everyone else was.

“Not hard enough,” Jonghyun commented and Kibum’s fuse blew.

“How the fuck can you stand there and say that? You messed up first, Mr Perfectionist!” Kibum yelled, putting his bass aside. “This is a mistake. Your girlfriend’s distracting you!”

“No, you’re the one who’s distracted!” Taemin yelled. “You’re miserable and it shows! How are we supposed to win if one of our faces is moping all the time?” Taemin imitated Kibum’s frown with an over exaggerated pout.

“Fuck off, Taemin!” Kibum shouted back, turning on the synth player.

“Everyone shut up!” Jinki yelled above the noise. “We need to get ourselves together if we’re going to make this work!”

Taemin and Minho shot each other knowing glances. “I don’t think it will work, hyung,” Taemin then said, putting aside his synth.

“Taemin…” Jonghyun started. “What are you doing?”

“I’m quitting,” Taemin announced. “I’m sick of this. You two are infuriating. I miss the flirting.” He said the last part under his breath but Kibum caught it easily. Heat creeped over his cheeks and he felt more embarrassed than he ever thought he could.

“I’m quitting too,” Minho said. “I don’t know where this band is going but it’s not what I was promised.”

“Guys!” Jinki called out as Minho and Taemin left the conservatory. The front door opened and slammed shut, leaving the remaining three to question their future.

“I should never have joined this band,” Jonghyun said, sadly. He took his guitar and placed it carefully in its case and made his own leave. “See you guys at school.”

Jinki and Kibum were left alone and the tension had never been thicker. “This is a disaster,” Kibum began, trying to diffuse the negativity.

“They’re right…” Jinki moped. “This band is a mess… I’m too stressed out from school for this, Kibum-ah,” he continued. “I’m sorry, I think it’s best we end _Odd_ here.”

Kibum didn’t stop him as he left. What could a bassist and a singer accomplish without any other accompaniment? He was left alone in the conservatory, empty shells of instruments scattered around the room and his dream crumbling around him completely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> only five chapters left!!!
> 
> follow me:  
> twitter: @jjong_bluemoon


	11. Chapter 11

Kibum was tempted to skip school the following Monday. He knew his friends weren’t mad at him, at least not enough to completely give him the cold shoulder, but he just wasn’t looking forward to seeing Jonghyun and Irene again. However, when Jinki and Taemin barged into his house without warning that morning, Kibum knew they had other plans for him.

 “Get dressed, hyung,” Taemin ordered, rummaging through one of Kibum’s many drawers to find a pair of clean socks as Jinki threw his uniform at him.

“What are you two doing here?” Kibum demanded to know as he began to strip his pyjamas off and pull on his uniform.

“We came to help you,” Jinki explained. “We knew you wouldn’t want to come to school after Saturday so we came round to make sure you wouldn’t skip.”

Kibum rolled his eyes. “Just once, hyung, don’t act like such a square.”

Taemin snickered and Jinki gasped. “I’m not a square!”

“Where did my cool brother go?” Taemin asked to no one in particular.

“I keep telling you guys, I’m cool!”

“Prove it, hyung,” Kibum challenged, pulling on his blazer and rolling on his clean white socks. “Skip last period with me and take me to your favourite fried chicken place.”

Jinki balked. “No.”

Taemin laughed and Kibum shrugged his shoulders. “Worth a try. As cool as you are, hyung, you’re not a rule breaker.”

“Hyung did drive you on Saturday,” Taemin reminded Kibum. “That was pretty cool of him.”

“Yeah,” Kibum agreed with a soft smile, patting Jinki’s shoulder. “That _was_ pretty cool of him.”

* * *

Kibum may have made it onto school grounds but the moment Jinki disappeared down the hall to get to his class, Kibum escaped to the 3rd music room. His footsteps getting heavier the closer he got, and for a moment he wondered if Jonghyun was doing the same thing and hiding out in that sanctuary of his.

However, when he approached the door he saw that the room was encased in dust and darkness. No Jonghyun in sight.

“Kibum?” A voice called out and the truant winced. God, he hoped it wasn’t one of the council members, Jinki would be beyond disappointed in him if he was caught skipping. He turned from the door and saw Jinyoung walking up to him.

“Oh, it’s just you, Jinyoung. What do you want?” Kibum crossed his arms over his chest, puffing himself up slightly to rebuff any kind of snarky comment that would come out of that hack’s mouth.

“I heard what happened to your band,” Jinyoung started, rubbing at his nape. “I’m sorry you guys had a falling out like that.”

“What’s going on? Why are you being so nice?” Kibum asked suspiciously. Jinyoung laughed quietly.

“I know, given our history I should be rubbing it in your face but… I guess as someone who’s also a member of a band, I can feel your pain.”

“You’re the cause of all of this,” Kibum said. “You stole CNU.”

“I didn’t steal him,” Jinyoung reasoned. “CNU loved your music. He talks about it all the time, how fun and original your music sounds, and he always felt like he couldn’t compete with you.”

Kibum didn’t quite believe him. “Why are you saying all of this now?” He asked with narrowed eyes.

“Because he talked about you the most,” Jinyoung explained. “He said you were a crazy good bassist and I could apparently learn a few things from you.”

“Surely that should upset you.”

“For a while, it did…” Jinyoung trailed off. “Look, what I’m about to offer is totally on the cards for you but… If you want to continue doing music, there’s a spot open for you.”

Kibum felt cemented to the spot, his world was tipsy. Was Jinyoung seriously offering to let Kibum join his band? Despite the fact they were unofficial rivals since birth? (Or perhaps that was a little exaggerated on Kibum’s side). “I-I don’t know….” Kibum said. “I want to make music but…”

“You want to do it with your friends, right?”

“Yeah. If there is no _Odd_ , there’s no me.”

“Alright, suit yourself,” Jinyoung said, shrugging his shoulders. “The offer still stands if you change your mind.” He then turned on his heel and walked towards the 1st music room, where a class was being held by the sounds of the brass instruments and triangles.

“Why didn’t you take his offer?” Another voice from behind Kibum asked. He jumped and turned back to where Jinyoung had come from. Jonghyun stood, guitar hitched onto his back, with a hard and unreadable expression. Kibum wondered how Jonghyun could read him so easily, but he could never do it in return.

“Why would I?” Kibum spat before turning around and entering the empty music room. He closed the door behind him and cursed when it opened again a few minutes later. “Don’t even-“

“What?” Jonghyun said. “Don’t even what?”

“Don’t try and convince me to take Jinyoung’s offer, that’ll never happen.”

Jonghyun scoffed. “I wouldn’t dream of convincing you of anything, Kibum-ah.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Jonghyun shrugged his shoulders and set aside his guitar case. He rolled his shirt sleeves up and unbuttoned the top two buttons of his shirt. Underneath he was wearing a Guns and Roses t-shirt, again. “I thought you were going to dye your hair.”

“Don’t change the subject.”

Jonghyun sighed and headed towards the window. He took a seat on the sill and looked out over the sports field. Taemin’s class had P.E. first thing and Kibum could easily make him out amongst the crowd, scrawny legs flailing and black hair bobbing as he ran track. “Kibum, what happened?”

“What do you mean?”

Jonghyun looked at him completely, bathed in golden sunlight and Kibum felt all of his resolve melt away. “What happened between us?”

“I guess… Irene did?” Kibum offered as resolution. He ran a hand through his hair.

Jonghyun shook his head. “Do you know why I quit the band?”

“Because Minho and Taemin did it first?” Kibum guessed, taking a seat on the sill beside Jonghyun.

“No, that’s not why. I quit because I like you… Actually, I think I might be in love with you but that’s a different story… I was sick of hiding my feelings away from you and when you guys had that argument on that Friday I realised I was being ridiculous. You would never like me back and… I guess I was afraid that my being touchy-feely with you was a bit too obvious…”

“So, you asked Irene out…”

“Yeah… Man, do I regret that,” Jonghyun chuckled darkly. “I never meant for us to split up like this.”

“Me neither,” Kibum admitted. He edged closer to Jonghyun, who swung his legs down so they could sit together, thighs touching. “You know, you weren’t being ridiculous,” Kibum then said, nudging Jonghyun’s shoulder gently with his own.

“I wasn’t?” Jonghyun asked with a confused expression.

“Well, you were at the time but… I realised a few things about myself over the past few weeks.”

“Like what?”

“Like… I like you… The way you like me,” Kibum said, looking at Jonghyun through thick lashes. He was staring at Kibum with a straight face but a bright, bubbly smile threatened to burst out. “Seeing you with Irene made me realise that I loved being around you all the time and the way you made me feel was beyond anything I’d ever felt before. I was scared of being treated like Taemin so… I guess I tried to bury my thoughts away.”

Jonghyun reached out and brushed a strand of Kibum’s hair from his face and suddenly the two were back in the bathroom all those weeks ago. Kibum could feel that hot air across his face and swallowed thickly, anticipating for the touch that would follow. “Kibum… Is it okay for me to kiss you?”

“Yes, please,” Kibum whispered, inching forward a little further. His eyes fluttered closed as Jonghyun tilted his head to the right before pressing his lips carefully against Kibum’s. It was an Earth shattering feeling to finally have all those frustrations pour out into one gesture, to feel that thrilling spark run up his nerves to his brain where fireworks fired off endlessly.

Jonghyun’s hand came up and threaded through Kibum’s hair and pressed him closer. Kibum whined in his throat, tugging on Jonghyun’s collar. He wanted to stay there forever; the world stopping like it did under that cherry tree.

Jonghyun pulled away a few moments later, his eyes unfocused and his smile dopey. “You’re a good kisser,” he commented.

“I barely did anything,” Kibum said. “You did all the work.”

“Maybe I’m the good kisser then,” Jonghyun said with a flirtatious wink. Kibum rolled his eyes but pulled Jonghyun back in for another kiss.

* * *

“What is this?” Kibum asked during lunch time. Jonghyun had actually brought his own this time, two round balls of rice with flaked tuna and mayonnaise in the centre.

“What’s what?” Jonghyun questioned through a mouthful of rice and seaweed. “This?” He gestured between the two of them. “We’re whatever you want us to be.”

“So if I said I wanted to date you…?”

Jonghyun swallowed thickly, his cheeks turning a healthy rosy red. “W-well… You wanna date me?”

“No, I just feel like kissing you all the time,” Kibum replied sarcastically. “Yes, I want to date you.”

“I need to break up with Irene first,” Jonghyun said, tapping a finger against his chin. “That’s gonna go down well…”

“I know you’re being sarcastic but you might be right. It will go down well; you’ll get your fan club back.”

Jonghyun snorted. “I never wanted them to begin with.” He paused for a moment before looking at Kibum. “If I have you, I don’t need any other fans.”

Kibum rolled his eyes again. “You’re gross.”

“But you like me,” Jonghyun teased moving in to press a kiss to Kibum’s nose.

“I can and _will_ take back my confession,” Kibum threatened, rubbing at the tip of his nose.

“Not if I’ve locked it away in my memories!” Jonghyun gestured to his temple.

“You’re such a dork,” Kibum laughed. “I can see why I like you.”

Jonghyun smiled brightly. “I can see why you like me, too,” he joked.

“You’re just a big pain and I’m not kissing you again.”

“Fine,” Jonghyun sighed and Kibum was sure that if Roo had a human version of herself, it would be Jonghyun. If Jonghyun had big floppy ears and a tail they’d be down and tucked between his legs. Kibum scoffed at his own imagery before kissing Jonghyun on the cheek. He perked up immediately. “Anyway, we need to talk to the band.”

“Oh, they’ve given up on _Odd_ , I’m sure.”

“No, it’s only been a few days, I’m sure if we convince them there will be no more fighting, they’ll agree to come back,” Jonghyun reasoned. “Unless you want to go to _Let’s Fly_?”

“I’d rather eat my own tongue and never play the bass again, thank you.”

Jonghyun laughed, free and floaty and Kibum could feel all the weight of the world melt away. If he could make Jonghyun laugh like that again and again, he was sure everything wrong with his world would vanish into thin air. The caged bird was free and singing beautifully and it was all because of Kibum.

By the end of the school day, Jonghyun broke up with Irene publically in front of a large portion of the student body. Irene hadn’t been as angry as he imagined, their relationship lasting a measly two weeks anyway. But, Kibum had been right about the fanclub returning, for as soon as Irene walked away from Jonghyun with a sad look in her eyes, he was crowded around by shouts and screams of adoration and the need to be acknowledged.

“Sorry ladies,” Jonghyun said, pushing his way through the crowd. His eyes met Kibum’s and their smiles matched, dazed and dreamy. “I have band practise tonight.”

“But oppa!”

“Sorry! Make sure to support _Odd_ during the talent show!”

“We will!”

Jonghyun jogged over to Kibum and looped his long fingers around Kibum’s slight wrist. They couldn’t exactly hold hands but Kibum knew this was better than nothing. “Where to first?” Jonghyun asked.

“Minho lives a few blocks from the school so we should go there first, we can tackle dumb and dumber tomorrow after Taemin’s dance practise. If we have Minho on our side, it’ll go swimmingly.”

“Alright, lead the way,” Jonghyun opened the door for Kibum and the two walked in the direction of where Minho’s brother’s condo overlooked the downtown district, footsteps lighter with every step they took. 


	12. Chapter 12

Minho had been fourteen when his parents died in a horrific car crash whilst travelling abroad. He and his brother became overnight orphans with a sizeable inheritance left to their names along with all of the assets their parents had accomplished over their short lives. Kibum remembered the day Minho was pulled from class to be delivered the bad news. His face when he returned was the epitome of devastation: crumpled - chin pulled up and wrinkled with his mouth downturned and eyebrows knitted together. Minho was always one who prided himself on being able to keep his emotions under control and Kibum could never forget the moment he witnessed what it looked like for Minho to lose that restraint.

After their parents passed, Minho and his older brother (who had just graduated university when the accident happened) moved into a large apartment complex owned by a family friend, taking the largest penthouse at the top of the tower. The condo overlooked the whole of the city, coated in two-way glass that allowed occupants to see the world but showered them in privacy.

Kibum had stayed over at Minho’s house multiple times, and slept over more times than he could count, and was on a first name basis will all the security guards who housed themselves in the lobby so when he and Jonghyun arrived at the complex, Kibum strolled in without a care in the world.

“Kibum-ah!” One of the guards said with mild surprise in his voice.  He had swept-back, thinning black hair and beady dark eyes that twinkled when he recognised Kibum’s face. “It’s nice to see you.”

“Nice to see you too, Mr Kang,” Kibum replied politely. He looked over his shoulder to see Jonghyun still stood out on the street, neck craned upwards as he stared at the large building agape. A few moments later, he followed Kibum into the lobby, even more star-struck than before. Kibum turned back to the security guard with a tense smile. “This is Jonghyun, he’s our new guitarist.”

“Minho did mention you found a new guy,” Mr Kang said, grinning at Jonghyun. “He just got home so I’ll just buzz him to let him know you’re here.”

“Oh, no, let it be a surprise,” Kibum pleaded, fluttering his eyelashes. Mr Kang had a thing for pretty boys and Kibum always used it to his advantage (although it would’ve been easier with Taemin here as Mr Kang had a soft spot for him).

“Oh, alright then. Just this once, though!” He said as he walked out from his station and led the teenagers to the golden elevators. “You kids be good, don’t make too much noise.” He waved the two off as the elevator doors closed and Kibum could breathe again.

“He’s such a creep,” Kibum shuddered. “Taemin hates coming here because of him.”

“Yeesh,” Jonghyun winced.

“Yeah…” Kibum sighed sadly. The top floor took about two minutes to reach at the excelled speed of the elevators. With a sharp ding, the doors parted and the two teens stepped out into the hallway. It looked completely normal, beige walls and coffee brown floorboards. Minho’s door was a jet black with copper detailing and the number 525 delicately carved into the wood. Kibum knocked on the door once.

“Minseo-“ Minho started as he opened the door but faltered when he saw Jonghyun and Kibum staring at him with eager smiles. “Oh, it’s just you two.”

“Oh, it’s just us two,” Kibum mocked. “Aren’t you going to let us in?”

“Why are you two here together?” Minho asked suspiciously, swinging his door back and forth, as if he were trying to decide if he should close it in their faces and avoid the headache. “Did you make up?”

“No, we just both happened to have the same idea,” Kibum replied sarcastically. “Yes, we made up!”

Minho continued to watch the two with narrowed eyes but he gave up eventually and allowed his friends to enter the condo. “You’ve redecorated,” Kibum mused, glancing around the open area. The front wall where Minho’s brother had placed their large screen TV over an electric fireplace had been painted burnt sienna whilst the old white kitchen walls had been replaced with decadent brickwork.

“This is how the other half lives,” Jonghyun gasped, staggering around the room. “I don’t know if I should hate you guys.”

“You should,” Minho agreed. He stood at his door, closed, with arms folded over his chest. “So, why are you two here?”

“You might want to sit down,” Kibum started, looking back at his friend. Jonghyun began to wring at his hands nervously and followed Kibum’s instructions, falling onto the plush, chocolate, leather sofa. Minho rolled his eyes and did the same, sitting beside Jonghyun, throwing one leg over the other.

“Can I have a guess first?” Minho then asked with a cocky grin as Kibum took a seat on the matching armchair.

“Sure?” Kibum replied with a bemused smile.

“You,” Minho started, pointing at Kibum. “Confessed and you,” he then turned to Jonghyun. “Asked him out.”

Jonghyun and Kibum froze for a long second; staring at each other with wide eyes before Kibum regained his composure and cleared his throat. Minho sat back with a pleased grin on his face. “How on Earth could you have possibly guessed?” Kibum asked.

“Because I’ve known you since middle school,” Minho replied easily. “You’re impulsive when you like people and you really like Jonghyun-hyung.”

“Minho, shut up!” Kibum hissed, flailing his arms around wildly.

“Whoa, you _really_ like me?” Jonghyun teased, sitting forward with a smug grin and Kibum could feel his body temperature rise.

“Don’t do this now,” Kibum warned.

“I couldn’t tell from the way you-“

“Alright,” Minho butted in with a laugh. “I’m glad you two are out in the open about this but… Why are you really here?”

“Dang, you can see right through us,” Jonghyun joked, leaning back onto the sofa. “We want to put Odd back together.”

Minho turned silent, lips pursed before getting up from the sofa. “I don’t know if it’s a good idea… especially since you two are dating now… If you break up, you break up the whole band…” Kibum’s eyes followed Minho as he walked to the kitchen. “Want a drink?”

“Don’t change the subject,” Kibum scolded his friend, also getting up from the armchair. “Come on, Minho. All you’ve wanted to do since the day we met was to have the chance to make your own decision,” he began to plead. “Remember what your dad said to you? He told you to pursue business just in case something happened to your brother! What kind of father…” He trailed off. “Look, music is something you love, admit it.”

“I’ll admit it easily,” Minho said with a sly smile. “But, are you two willing to commit something bigger than you?”

“What do you mean?” Jonghyun asked, still sitting on the sofa, one of his arms hanging off the back.

“If you two have an argument, how can we be sure that it won’t affect the future of our band again,” Minho started. “Kibum’s volatile and you, hyung… Well, you’re a bit of a pushover sometimes,” he continued, pointing from Kibum to Jonghyun. Both of them frowned in offence. Minho raised his hands with an unapologetic look. “I’m sorry but this whole debacle to Irene and Kibum’s inability to notice what was in front of him the whole time has shown just how unstable we are.”

“So, let’s use this to grow closer. The way I see it,” Kibum argued. “We have a few more weeks until the talent show and summer break is around the corner so we’ll have plenty of time to get better.”

Minho seemed interested for a fleeting second before turning back and reaching into the cabinet behind him. “Are you sure you don’t want a drink?”

“Oh, um… I’ll have a water,” Jonghyun said.

“Same for me,” Kibum added in defeat, following Minho into the elegant kitchen. Marble encased counter tops and state of the art appliances, Minho’s brother must’ve gotten a good deal in at work. “Don’t just avoid this, Minho, this could be so good for us. Besides, what happens if you and Taemin start dating? Do we call it quits then too?”

Minho balked, the imported crystal glass nearly slipping from his fingers. He turned around with scandalised look on his face. “How do you know about that?”

“That you’re grossly in love with each other?” Kibum rolled his eyes. “We’ve known all along. Well, except Jinki-hyung, but the guy’s a special kind of stupid.”

Minho bit at his bottom lip and really thought over the proposition. Kibum knew he loved playing music more than anything, more than sports (if that was even possible) and more than his need to please his parents from beyond the grave. He poured up three glasses of water from a filtered jug that he pulled out of the fridge. “If you two can promise me you won’t let your relationship get in the way of the band’s future then I’m in.”

“I promise,” Kibum replied.

“Me too, I promise,” Jonghyun added, standing up from the sofa and joining Kibum. He wrapped an arm around his waist and smiled into his hair. “I’d be stupid to let something like this go.”

Minho gagged. “Alright, you’ve convinced me. Now, tell me how you confessed,” he demanded, passing out the glasses to his friends. Kibum sighed heavily as he relayed the story, Jonghyun butting in to add further vivid detail that Kibum had opted to leave out.

The two left the apartment an hour later with the reward of a job well done. One down, just two more left to convince.

* * *

The next day, Kibum and Minho devised a plan during their Chemistry class to win Taemin and Jinki back over into the band. It involved Kibum and Jonghyun sitting in during Taemin’s dance practise and then cornering the Lee brothers immediately after. Both of them were relatively headstrong but Kibum knew them too well, he knew how to play their weaknesses to his advantage. Taemin loved the synth and Jinki’s whole life had been built to become a singer and Kibum knew that if he could convince one, the other would follow immediately.

Or, at least he assumed that’s how it would go.

“No thanks,” Taemin declined immediately after he and Jinki were cornered outside of the dance hall. “I think I’m going to focus on dancing.”

“Taemin,” Kibum started, trying to not turn to pleading right away. “Jinki-hyung, come on, what about you?”

Jinki shrugged. “What about me? I told you I want to focus on school work. Look, you’re my best friend, Kibum but maybe being in a band wasn’t the best idea.”

“I miss CNU,” Taemin then said, pointedly glaring at Jonghyun. “He may have been sub-par compared to Jonghyun-hyung but at least he wasn’t trying to break us apart.”

Jonghyun looked at his feet and Kibum sighed. “He didn’t break us apart. I did, Taemin-ah. If you want to blame anyone, blame me.”

Taemin looked at Kibum with softer eyes. “I did for a long time, but before Jonghyun-hyung turned up we were good. You were good. You weren’t torn up about…” He eyed Jonghyun for a moment and bit his lip. “Stuff.”

“If this is about me and Irene, I already know,” Jonghyun interrupted. “Kibum and I already… _talked_ … about it…”

Kibum’s cheeks turned an attractive shade of pink as Minho burst into laughter, doubling over. “Hyung…”

Taemin frowned. “Wait… Are you two dating now?”

Kibum and Jonghyun turned to each other, smiling secretively before turning back to their youngest member and nodding in unison. Taemin’s eyes narrowed further, scrutinising everything. “If you want us to promise we won’t let our relationship get in the way of the music, we will.”

Taemin shook his head. “No, I know it will. The fighting will be a lot worse now you’re dating.”

“How can you say that?” Kibum spluttered. “Give us a chance, we love this band as much as you guys!”

“Minho, what do you think?” Taemin then asked, turning to the only member who had remained quiet throughout most of the argument.

“I think Key and Jonghyun-hyung know what they’re doing and I trust them,” he said with a nonchalant shrug. Taemin seemed defeated by this, spitting out gibberish before growling and stamping his feet.

“You’re a traitor.” He scowled. “Hyung, let’s go.”

However, Jinki decided to stay behind. “Jonghyun stepped up to Siwon for you,” he started to recount. “And Minho trusts them.”

“Hyung…” Taemin whined. “You know this isn’t a good idea, what band has lasted with two members being involved with each other?”

“Maybe we can be the first?” Jinki offered as an olive branch. “The start will be rocky… And in all honesty, I really do want to sing again.”

Kibum and Jonghyun seemed to light up visibly. Taemin watched them for a long moment before sighing himself. His shoulders dropped. “Okay, I’ll come back. But!” He held up a hand to cease any premature celebration. “If you two fight at all over the summer break that threatens the band in anyway, I’m out and I’m never coming back.”

“That’s fair,” Jonghyun agreed, snaking his hand around Kibum’s waist to pull him closer. “Don’t you agree?”

“Yeah,” Kibum replied, feeling heat crawl up along his neck as Jonghyun’s fingers began to massage into his side. “That’s fair.”

“Alright,” Taemin said. “I guess Odd’s back together. Shall we go practise to make up for lost time?”

“That sounds awesome! Everyone, let’s go to Kibum’s!” Jinki announced, raising his arm over his head to lead the way.

“I’m going to kill them,” Kibum ground out as the group charged away, leaving him and Jonghyun behind.

“Let’s save the killing until after we win the talent show,” Jonghyun joked, before looking around and then pressing a kiss to Kibum’s temple. He circled a warm hand around Kibum’s wrist and lead him out of the school too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> follow me:  
> twitter: @jjong_bluemoon


	13. Chapter 13

“Did you know it’s been over two months since Jonghyun joined us?” Jinki noted one day. Summer break had finally arrived and everyone had taken to hanging out at the Lee’s as their parents had taken the liberty of inserting a pool over the previous summer. Kibum and Taemin chose to lay on leather lounge chairs shaded by towering umbrellas. Jinki, Minho, and Jonghyun sat at the edge of the pool, their legs dipping into the cool water as the sun beat down on their backs.

“Wow, has it been that long?” Kibum pondered, eyes trailing over the planes of his boyfriend’s shoulders. A giddy feeling ran through his stomach, his boyfriend. His. Boyfriend. No one else’s. _His_. It felt so good to say, even if it was just to himself.

“Feels like it’s been longer,” Taemin clipped with a cheeky smile. “I’m sure Kibum-hyung agrees.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Kibum dismissed with pursed lips. Jonghyun looked back over his shoulder, winking from the harsh sunlight but he grinned all the same. Kibum smiled back at him and then crooked his index finger to motion him over. Jonghyun stood up and Taemin watched with a grimace as Kibum visibly sighed as he drank in the sight of Jonghyun’s body. Toned, tanned, dipping into his swimsuit that Kibum really kind of wanted to rip off of him if he was being truly honest.

There were a few aspects to his new found relationship that left him confused. He liked Jonghyun. Jonghyun made his heart beat, his head spin, his nerves to fry and alight at the same time, but when his mind began to wander to the things he had always thought weren’t right to think about, he became conflicted.

He wanted to know what Jonghyun looked like naked, but he was so afraid he’d be turned off by what he saw.

“You okay?” Jonghyun asked, running a hand through his starlit hair. He took a seat at the end of the longue chair, between Kibum’s lithe legs and took a sip of his iced green tea. “You seem a little conflicted.”

Ah, it visibly showed too, Kibum realised. “No, I’m just thinking about how lucky I am.”

Jonghyun laughed happily and Kibum grinned a little wider until his cheeks began to hurt. “You’re the lucky one? I think I’m the lucky one.”

“You two are honestly…” Taemin ground out, peering over his sunglasses at the couple.

“Don’t be jealous now, Taeminnie,” Kibum sang with a wink and the brunet shook his head. “Maybe Minho might want to go for a swim?”

Taemin glared over at his friend for a long second before cutting his gaze to Minho very quickly. With a thin lipped smile, Taemin stood up and walked over to Minho and before anyone could stop him, pushed him into the pool.

“Taemin, what the hell?” Jinki cursed, jumping out of the pool and away from his younger brother.

“What? I just wanted to have some fun,” Taemin said, shrugging unapologetically. Minho resurfaced, dark hair sticking to his small face and sunglasses askew.

“Very funny, Taemin-ah,” Minho said sarcastically before reaching out over the edge. His long fingers curled around Taemin’s skinny ankle and with a sharp tug, the synth player was also under water.

“You’re such a dick!” Taemin cried out when he swam back up for air. “What the hell, Minho?”

“What the hell _me_!?” Minho asked incredulously. “What the hell _you_ , Taemin-ah!”

Taemin squared up to Minho, swimming closer and closer to him, their eyelashes coated in chlorinated water, hair dripping and skin glistening in the sunlight. “Hyung, you might want to turn away,” Jonghyun warned as he and Kibum watched the events unfurl. Jinki looked away to his two friends with a confused smile and as soon as his eyes left the pool, Minho was pulling Taemin in for a rough kiss.

“Freakin’ finally,” was all Kibum could say.

* * *

Kibum’s parents’ bedroom had a balcony that overlooked the entire orchard behind the estate, decorated with blossoming flowers and ripening fruit. When Kibum was a kid he used to climb over the fence and run through the open field, zig zagging through trees and picking up oranges and apples that hung low on the branches. He could remember the sweet nectar as he bit into the fruit watching the sun set across the city.

Jonghyun and Kibum snuck onto the balcony with a plate of apple slices and pieces of mango as the sun began to set. Taemin and Jinki had said goodbye to their guests an hour or so ago and the two brothers were currently lounging under the umbrellas, Jinki with a book and Taemin with his MP3 player.

“I bet if I threw this piece of mango,” Jonghyun started with a twinkle in his eye. “I could hit Jinki-hyung right here.” He pointed at the crown of his head and Kibum stifled a laugh.

“I don’t doubt it, but don’t waste good mango,” Kibum said, taking hold of Jonghyun’s hand and biting onto the mango slice himself. Jonghyun watched with baited breath as Kibum chewed thoughtfully with a cheeky smile.

“Don’t do things like that, my heart can’t handle it,” Jonghyun said, finishing the piece off himself. There was a moment of silence as they listened to the cicadas sing, and then Jonghyun spoke again: “Say, what do you like about me the most?”

“Didn’t I answer that question already?” Kibum asked, taking a slice of apple and eating it whole.

“Yes and no… I just want to know what my most attractive feature is.” Jonghyun waggled his eyebrows before flickering his gaze down and then back up to Kibum’s face.

“No, it’s not that, you perv,” Kibum joked, pushing Jonghyun slightly as he laughed. “I think I prefer your face to any other part.”

“Is that why you were checking me out earlier?”

Kibum didn’t deny that. “I think I like your eyes the most.”

“My eyes,” Jonghyun considered thoughtfully. “I like yours too. Eyes are the windows to the soul and I could tell from the moment I met you, you had a good one.”

Kibum bit his lip. “You got me already, you don’t have to keep trying to flatter me!”

Jonghyun grinned and leaned over. “What if I just feel like it?” His voice was low as he peered up at Kibum through thick lashes. Kibum swallowed thickly. “I really want to kiss you right now.”

“What’s stopping you?” Kibum whispered against Jonghyun’s lips as his boyfriend dipped a little closer. Their noses brushed gently and Kibum’s eyes fluttered closed instinctively. “If you don’t kiss me right now-“

Jonghyun’s lips pressed against his own, delicately at first. As if he was testing the waters he had already tread. A hand came out to push the plate of fruit away so the two could move closer together. That same hand then looped around Kibum’s neck, fingers curling into the dark hair.

It always felt so new to kiss Jonghyun like this, a mutual gesture of want. Kibum had kissed plenty of girls before, on and off stage, but nothing had ever felt like this. His breath was ripped from his lungs and his head was swimming in pleasure and adoration. He could tell from the way Jonghyun tilted his head gently to press a little harder, fingers twisting in his hair, that Jonghyun really wanted to kiss him. This wasn’t an act or a moment of impulse “just to see what it felt like”, this was the genuine deal.

Something wet poked at Kibum’s lips and without thinking, they parted and a whole new realm of sensation began to tingle at his nerves. This was brand new to him and he began to feel himself falling into Jonghyun’s scent, the stroke of his tongue against his own. Kibum clung to Jonghyun’s shirt with both hands, gripping into the thin material tightly as he tried to kiss back with the same amount of expertise but Jonghyun had him beat.

They pulled away a few moments later, breathing heavily as they rested their foreheads together. “You drive me wild,” Jonghyun whispered.

Kibum grinned. “Oh, I’m sure it’s mutual.”

* * *

The next morning, Kibum and Jonghyun woke up tangled in each other. Jonghyun had an arm looped around Kibum’s waist tightly and Kibum had taken to weaving his fingers through Jonghyun’s bleach damaged hair. Kibum’s parents had come home a little earlier than anticipated and the two teens had escaped from the balcony, leaving behind their traces, to hide away in Kibum’s room. If either of his parents’ had noticed and cared that Kibum had been on the balcony with a plate of fruit, they definitely didn’t say anything.

Practise continued on as always. Jonghyun wasn’t missing any notes this time and as a group they managed two run-throughs of View without any mistakes at all.

“Juice break!” Taemin called out after the second attempt and Kibum sighed, excusing himself to get the band some refreshments. Jonghyun followed him.

“Are Taemin and Minho…?” He asked as Kibum put aside five glasses and pulled out a carton of orange juice from the fridge.

“No chance,” Kibum said, shaking his head. “Jinki-hyung would never let them.”

“He keeps a tight leash, huh…”

“I wouldn’t say it’s like that,” Kibum said as he poured the glasses out. “Taemin just wants to make Jinki-hyung happy and Jinki-hyung doesn’t want Taemin to get hurt.”

“And he thinks Minho might do that?”

“Not particularly. But, he thinks that Taemin jumping into a relationship along with school work, dance practise, and _Odd_ will be too much and one will fail.”

“Taemin’s not a little kid,” Jonghyun said indignantly. “He can make his own choices.”

“And that comes back to Taemin wanting to make Jinki-hyung happy. They’ve always been close; people often mistook them for twins when they were younger. They dote on each other.”

“Do you agree with Jinki-hyung? Do you think balancing all this and a relationship is a mistake?” Jonghyun asked after a moment of silence. Kibum stopped pouring the juice and then stared at Jonghyun.

“No.”

“You sure?”

“Hyung, I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life. I want to be with you and I want to be with you in this band. Don’t make me regret my decision,” he pleaded quietly, moving towards Jonghyun and resting his head on his shoulder, sighing. “I already have so much to regret for.”

Jonghyun smiled sweetly and rubbed at his boyfriend’s back. “So do I, Kibummie. So do I.”

“Where is the juice!?” Taemin demanded from the conservatory.

* * *

“Let me take you out on a date,” Jonghyun said the following weekend. Band practise had been put on hold as they’d been practising nonstop over the week. Kibum glanced over at Jonghyun as the two sat in the elder’s bedroom. Roo had taken to snuggling between Kibum’s legs, as if she had belonged there the whole time.

“Where would you take me? I have expensive taste,” Kibum teased but immediately regretted it when Jonghyun’s hopeful smile shifted to a crestfallen frown. “I’m kidding, baby, I’d go anywhere if it was with you.”

“You’re just saying that,” Jonghyun said with a pitiful look. He moved closer to Kibum, disturbing Roo from her sleep. She looked at her owner with a disapproving glare in her large eyes before scampering off the bed and curling into a ball beside the closed door.

“No, I mean it,” Kibum insisted, looping his arms around Jonghyun’s neck to pull him even closer. He wanted to feel Jonghyun’s body, to feel his skin against his own. “I’d go anywhere if I was with you.”

“Even if it’s just to the Han river for ice cream and a dog walk?”

“Even if it was just to the park down the end of your street with Roo.” Kibum pecked Jonghyun’s lips with a smile. “I’m not kidding.”

“Neither am I,” Jonghyun said with his own kiss against Kibum’s lips. This one lasted longer and pressed a little harder than Kibum’s did. Kibum could feel his heart explode in his chest, fireworks ripple in his stomach as his brain melted from the heat and the feeling of Jonghyun against his skin, again and again. “Actually, before we go anywhere, I just want to do this…”

He pushed Kibum down so that he was pressed into the mattress as Jonghyun swung his leg over to straddle him. He then leant down and kissed away all the senses from Kibum’s mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the 100+ kudos !!! <3333
> 
> follow me!  
> twitter: jjong_bluemoon


	14. Chapter 14

Roo, as Kibum learnt, was not a dog that appreciated going for long walks. She was a little chubby around her middle with short stubby legs and a glossy coat and eternally wet nose and even though she had the appearance of a dog, inside she was a spoilt princess. As soon as Jonghyun put her on the floor the moment he and Kibum reached the Han River, she immediately sat on his feet and looked up at him with a condescending eye.

“Come on girl, be good,” Jonghyun whined, looking down at Roo with a pleading look that Kibum had seen many times before. Jonghyun often wore the look when he really wanted to kiss Kibum but the other wasn’t playing his games.

“Roo,” Kibum cooed as he bent down onto his haunches and rubbed his thumb and index finger together to entice the dog towards him. Roo looked at him and sniffed before staring back up at Jonghyun.

“She’s such a lazy butt,” Jonghyun said, bending over to pick her up. Roo licked at his chin happily, her little tail wagging. Kibum laughed breathlessly as he got up and stroked behind her ear. “You’re never going to lose weight if you don’t walk.”

“Aww, I’m sure she’ll want to run around in a few minutes. I can’t imagine a dog wouldn’t want to explore a new world,” Kibum said, picking up his pace to walk along the path. The water was painted in shades of pink and purple and navy blue from the sky above, trickling prettily down the stream. Kibum wanted to dip his toes in the watercolour portrait and immerse himself in the world above for a few seconds.

“You don’t know Roo,” Jonghyun said as he caught up to him, finding it difficult to run and hold a wriggling dog at the same time. “It’s pretty tonight, isn’t it?”

“I was just thinking that,” Kibum said softly as a gentle breeze ruffled their hair and upset Roo. She let out a sharp bark and Jonghyun immediately put her down. “I told you so.” Kibum looked at Jonghyun as Roo began to act like a normal dog, sniffing along the path and even bending her hind legs to pee.

“She’s so over the top,” Jonghyun complained, running a hand through his blond hair. “When are you going to dye your hair?”

“Why do you keep asking?” Kibum shot back, feeling their knuckles brush against each other, only just realising how close Jonghyun had gotten to him.

“I’m excited to see your hair. I think you’ll look pretty.”

“Don’t I look pretty now?” Kibum teased, tossing his fingers through his dark hair.

“You’re always pretty,” Jonghyun said meekly and Kibum bit back a happy smile, his heart doing little somersaults in his chest. Roo’s little nail clicked across the pavement as she wandered back over to the two with a happy wag of her tail. “I think she wants us to keep going.”

“I didn’t even know we stopped,” Kibum commented as the two began to walk again.

“When we get to the end,” Jonghyun then started, pointing down to the other end of the river. “I’ll buy us some ice cream.”

Kibum nodded and allowed himself to get swept up in the cotton candy coated water, the breaching sunlight sparkling through the ripples as it peeked through tall buildings and whizzing cars. He sighed wistfully, if time could stop right here, right now, he’d be content to live through this moment forever. Jonghyun was everything he had anticipated he would be and so much more, but the festering guilt and disgust that had made its home in his stomach still threatened to appear any second.

“What are you thinking about right now?” Jonghyun asked, taking Kibum’s wrist with his hand and holding it tightly. Kibum glanced away from the river to his boyfriend’s face and smiled dreamily.

“I’m thinking about how I wish I could stop time and live in this moment with you forever.”

“I had no idea you were such a romantic,” Jonghyun joked, but his eyes were twinkling. “Actually, Kibum, there’s something I want to say.”

The conversation halted and Kibum stared at Jonghyun with wide, frightened eyes. “What is it?”

“I want to apologise to you,” Jonghyun said, scratching at the nape of his neck. Roo padded over to them and sat at their feet, looking between them with bewilderment. “About Irene and that… night.”

Ah, Kibum realised, he means when he kissed Irene’s cheek in front of me. “Oh, don’t worry about it…”

“No, I… I want you to know that everything I did with Irene… I could only think about you…”

“What _did_ you do with her?” Kibum didn’t know why he asked the question because he definitely didn’t want to hear the answer.

Jonghyun shrugged. “Kissed her a few times… That was it really. I was her first boyfriend so she wanted to go slow.” He sucked in air through his teeth before sighing. “What I did in front of you… that was a dick move and I was angry and I wanted to make you jealous… and I’m sorry.”

“I’ve already forgotten,” Kibum lied. The moment had been branded in his mind forever and even if Jonghyun could kiss him a thousand times, he was sure it’d never go away.

“You sure?”

“Positive. Now, stop ruining our date,” Kibum admonished, taking Jonghyun’s wrist this time and leading him back up the path. “You promised me ice cream.”

* * *

The two made their spot on the bank, watching as the purple and pink and candy orange of the evening sky faded away into a twinkling canvas of night. They shared a strawberry cone between them as Jonghyun didn’t have a lot of money, and Kibum really didn’t care that much about the ice cream. Roo sat in Jonghyun’s lap, trying to get a lick of the sweet treat in her owner’s hand but Jonghyun was quicker and smarter than her, much to her disappointment but Kibum’s relief.

“Say, where do you see this band going?” Jonghyun asked as he passed the cone over to Kibum. The air had begun to get cooler and Kibum wished he’d brought a cardigan or something to cover his exposed arms. Wearing a muscle t-shirt seemed practical during the day, but not so much at night.

“I see us winning a Korean Music Award,” Kibum said as he took a long lick of his ice cream. When he handed it back, he noticed that Jonghyun’s eyes were fixed on his lips. “Do I have some ice cream…?” He raised a finger to swipe along his mouth.

“Oh, no,” Jonghyun blurted out and took the ice cream, tearing his gaze away from Kibum’s face. “You really love music, don’t you?”

“It’s all I want to do – you can finish that off.”

Jonghyun thanked him and began to chomp down on the dessert, Kibum wincing as he watched, his teeth aching at the idea. “When did you realise you wanted to form a band?”

“When I heard Jinki-hyung sing for the first time. I heard his voice and I said to myself I wanted to be a part of the world that would bring his voice to the masses.”

“You really love Jinki-hyung, huh?” Jonghyun joked.

“He’s my childhood friend, of course I do. Those two idiots, they’re like brothers to me.” Kibum leant back against the bank and began to count the stars in his head. “What about you? What made you want to do music?”

“It made my mom happy,” Jonghyun said so quietly that Kibum swore he had almost misheard him. “Music was something she loved and I wanted to play the most beautiful songs for her to make her happy… Especially after my dad left.”

Kibum sat back and scooted closer to Jonghyun; he then buried his nose in his shoulder and inhaled his intoxicating scent. “You’re such a beautiful human being, Jonghyun,” Kibum whispered. “When we get back to your place, I’m going to kiss you so hard you’ll forget your own name.”

“I don’t think a kiss will be strong enough to do that,” Jonghyun teased with a toothy grin. Kibum looked up with a sly smile on his face.

“Watch me.”

* * *

Kibum didn’t really know what he was doing but when Jonghyun was being this reciprocative towards his advances, he found it hard to pull away and analyse the situation. One hand was boldly underneath Jonghyun’s t-shirt, brushing over planes of skin and hard muscle and Kibum was drooling as he pressed heated kisses along Jonghyun’s jaw and neck.

Jonghyun was unfocused, losing his self-control and he bit down on his lower lip hard to prevent any loud noises to escape when Kibum brushed his lips across exposed collarbones and shoulders. The two hands that had housed themselves in Kibum’s hair tightened as he then bit down on a patch of skin, kissing away the hurt. “You’d look really hot with tattoos,” he murmured.

“Was thinking of getting some,” Jonghyun whispered. He was really starting to get into this, letting out little gasps that left Kibum wanting to encourage even more noise but their dreams were shattered when the front door opened and Roo began to bark. “Mom’s home!” Jonghyun said urgently, pushing Kibum off of him and running over to the mirror to smooth his hair and fan away the heat in his cheeks. Kibum stayed sat on the bed, dazed and turned on as Jonghyun then left the bedroom and he wondered if he should follow.

He did end up following Jonghyun in the end, straightening himself out as he went. Jonghyun’s mom had brought home some food from the convenience store and Jonghyun had taken his time to wrap his arms around her neck and pull her into a hug. “What’s going on, my lovely son?” She asked with a croaky chuckle.

“I’m just glad you’re home.”

“It’s not like I’m home early,” his mother said before her eyes trailed up to the top of the stairs, where Kibum darkened the hallway. “Kibum-ssi! It’s nice to see you again! Has my son fed you?”

“Not yet, Mrs Kim,” Kibum replied, keeping his polite smile on. He descended the staircase and stood beside Jonghyun, the thrill of being caught doing something naughty hummed in his veins and he could tell Jonghyun felt the same from the fleeting glances he was shooting his way.

“I suppose it’s a good thing I’ve brought home some food then,” she said, raising the plastic bag with a shining smile. “Do you boys want to help?”

Kibum helped set up the small dining table whilst Jonghyun chopped the vegetables and boiled hot water for the stock. His mother was in charge, throwing orders around and watching over the meal to make sure it wouldn’t burn. The end result was a large pot of tteokbokki that smelled so savoury that Kibum was already salivating before the side dishes could get served. The group of three sat around the table and Jonghyun’s mother started the meal with a prayer.

The food was sweet, salty, and spicy, all of the things Kibum enjoyed the most and he even went in for seconds. “You have to give me this recipe,” he mumbled through a mouth full of fish cake. Jonghyun’s mother chuckled.

“He’s such a lovely boy,” she said to her son. Jonghyun stared up at her, pulling his gaze from his kimchi for a second. “You best look after him.”

A sharp cough. A bashful shifting of eyes. How did she even know? “I-I will, Mom,” Jonghyun said, biting his tongue as he spoke. He reached out for a glass of water to soothe his throbbing mouth.

They continued to eat, Jonghyun’s mother asking Kibum about school and the band and how things were progressing. She didn’t push further into his relationship with her son but Kibum had a feeling she had enough sharp incentive to guess what they were up to in Jonghyun’s bedroom before she came home.

After dinner was done, Kibum helped Mrs Kim clean everything away and Jonghyun walked him to the bus stop. “I want to kiss you but…”

“I understand,” Kibum replied, feeling a little sad he wouldn’t get the goodnight kiss he always gave to Jonghyun when he left his house. “A hug will do.”

“I’m sorry,” Jonghyun sighed. “I… I thought being with you would give me the confidence but-“

“I’m not mad,” Kibum insisted, pressing a finger against Jonghyun’s lips. “I feel the same way.”

“You do?”

“Yes, I do. It’s a frightening position to be in and I understand your hesitation.”

“I really like you, Kibum,” Jonghyun said, pulling him into a hug as the bus teetered around the corner.

“I like you too, hyung,” Kibum said back, holding on a little tighter, not letting the world tear them apart until it had to.

Their hands brushed gently as they pulled away and Jonghyun stayed at the bus stop as Kibum disappeared from sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's the penultimate chapter!! I really hope you enjoyed the story so far and I hope you will enjoy the ending too. thank you so much for everything.
> 
> follow me!  
> twitter: @jjong_bluemoon


	15. Chapter 15

“I can’t believe summer’s already over,” Kibum whined as he, Jinki, and Taemin walked up to the school gates. Jinki had taken his time to gain confidence in driving over the break and had offered to take Kibum along with him and Taemin early in the morning and Kibum was never one to decline a free ride.

“Summer’s still here, Kibum-ah,” Jinki explained. “Summer isn’t over until September.”

“But _summer_ is!” Kibum said, gesturing wildly. “We’re back in our uniforms and the talent show is in two weeks!”

Taemin scuffed his new shoes along the asphalt, dragging behind Jinki and Kibum as they continued to argue over the semantics of the season when a large body loomed over him. Kibum watched as Taemin jumped in surprise as he turned to look over his shoulder. He mirrored the smile on Taemin's when he noticed Minho’s grinning face looking down at him. “You scared me,” Taemin said, elbowing Minho in the stomach gently.

“Sorry,” Minho said, scratching the back of his head sheepishly. “I wanted to surprise you.” He instantly slowed his speed to match Taemin’s pace.

“Oh, stop flirting you two,” Kibum teased from the entrance. He and Jinki had parked themselves outside the double doors, waiting for their fifth and final member to make his appearance. Minho and Taemin inched apart for a moment before sharing bashful grins.

“I wish they wouldn’t do that,” Jinki groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. “This is you and Jonghyun all over again.”

“Yeah, but this time there’s no Irene.”

And then, as if speaking of the devil, Irene turned the corner with Seulgi hot on her tail. She looked just as good as Kibum remembered and he questioned for a long moment why he hadn’t fallen for her instead of Jonghyun. Her sharp eyes met his for a brief second and she flipped her long hair over her shoulder with a cold expression as she strolled past and through the double doors.

“She hates me,” Kibum lamented.

“How would she even know you were involved in her breakup?” Jinki asked. “She is really shy and doesn’t like people staring at her, so that’s probably why…”

Kibum sighed. “Nah, I think she pegged on after I went to Jonghyun’s house…”

“Yeah,” Jinki said wistfully. “That was a little obvious, Kibummie.”

“Don’t call me that,” Kibum scolded, shoving Jinki gently. “I’m not twelve anymore.”

Jinki was about to open his mouth to tease his friend further when a high-pitched wail brought the four band members’ attention to the main gates where Jonghyun strolled in looking like a day of pure sunshine. His skin was still golden, kissed by Helios. He wore trendy dark shades over his eyes and his guitar case was swinging from his shoulder. Kibum felt as if he were staring at Jonghyun for the first time again with his white shirt wide open and a band muscle tee tucked underneath. His heart skipped a beat and his breath was torn from his lungs as Jonghyun peered over his sunglasses and winked at him.

Jonghyun was a deadly fiend, Kibum was sure.

Behind Jonghyun shambled a horde of fangirls, screaming his name and honorifics, arms reaching out to just have a brief touch of his skin, his hair, his clothes. Kibum couldn’t blame them, he felt as a soft and smooth as he looked and smelled just as good.

“I’m going in,” Jonghyun said as he passed the group, pointing to the front door. Kibum smiled apologetically at the remaining three and trailed after him. “Oh, you followed me,” Jonghyun then stated when he noticed a body close to his. His smile didn’t waver and he even circled that strong, calloused hand around Kibum’s wrist to pull him closer.

“You’re really pushing the school rules,” Kibum commented, gesturing to the band t-shirt. “Guns & Roses is a good look for you though.”

Jonghyun gave him that lopsided grin that left his knees feeling too weak to walk normally and he nearly tripped over his own feet. He wondered if Jonghyun ever felt like that when Kibum smiled at him. “Thanks. Listen, meet me for lunch in the music room. I have something to show you.”

Kibum’s eyes drifted to the guitar case on Jonghyun’s back and his face broke into an even wider smile. “I look forward to it. My class is this way.” He pointed towards the west wing.

“Alright, I’ll…” Jonghyun hesitated, eyes shifting from his entourage to his boyfriend and he cursed his sudden popularity. All he wanted to do was tell his boyfriend that he liked him and that he wanted to kiss him… “I’ll see you later,” he sighed, already feeling exhausted of the hiding.

“Yeah,” Kibum clipped, nodding. He was getting tired of it too.

* * *

Kibum was bouncing on the balls of his feet come lunch time. He couldn’t race to the music room fast enough, barging through parades of students to get to the west wing. Jonghyun was stood outside of them room holding his guitar and a nervous smile.

“Hey,” he said warmly when Kibum arrived.

“Hey,” Kibum said back. Jonghyun opened the door and allowed Kibum to enter first before closing the door behind himself. He took a deep breath and Kibum watched him, anxiously. “What’s this about?”

“I want you to meet someone,” Jonghyun started, pulling his guitar out of his case. “This is Juliette.”

“You named your guitar?” Kibum asked, vaguely unimpressed. The guitar looked different to the one Jonghyun took to band practise.

“Yeah,” Jonghyun said with a bright smile. “She’s my very first guitar. My mom saved up for months to buy it for me as a birthday present when I was 10.”

“Wow,” Kibum whistled. “She’s very pretty.”

She, being Juliette, was a standard guitar made of bleached wood with delicate red accents. She looked old and vintage but loved all the same. “Isn’t she?” Jonghyun said. “I wrote you a little something.”

“Oh,” Kibum said surprised. He took a seat on the windowsill, feeling the head of the sun on his back. “Is it a love song?”

Jonghyun nibbled on his lower lip. “… Yes? Is that a problem?”

“No!” Kibum said, his cheeks burning. “Go ahead.” His head felt light and giddy to hear whatever Jonghyun had conjured just by thinking about him. Jonghyun cleared his throat awkwardly before strumming his guitar. He hit the wrong notes and the sound sounded akin to a cat screaming in the middle of a fight. Kibum chuckled softly and Jonghyun scratched at his head. “It’s just me.”

Jonghyun looked at him. “I think that’s the problem…” He took a deep breath and tried again…

_"The moonlight, as if it’ll spill, is definitely dark, including the almost exploding torchlight. I need to learn how to shine like he does, if I look at him… I’ll be blinded…"_

* * *

The talent show finally reared its ugly head. The entire student body had gathered in the large auditorium that was only reserved for school plays and productions, including PSA assemblies which everyone shared a love-hate relationship over because on one hand, it got them out of class, but on the other it was always about a boring topic. The school set of instruments had been set up to the side for Odd and for Let’s Fly to use during their performances.

“I’m gonna be sick,” Taemin moaned, clutching at his stomach. The butterflies had infected everyone in the band and all five were sat in stock silence, newly dyed hair and clothes to match their aesthetics. Jinki kept glancing in the mirror to admire his pink hair. “Hyung, knock it off, you’re making me dizzy.”

“Sorry,” Jinki apologised, sitting on his hands. “We’re going to be okay, we’ve practised for this.”

“This is why you’re the leader, hyung,” Kibum commented, leaning up against Jonghyun who was tuning his beloved guitar, Juliette. “You’re good at calming everyone down.”

“Hey, guys,” a familiar voice piped up from behind Minho and all five turned to see CNU, with his long hair and dorky glasses smiling down at them sadly. “It’s nice to see you after all this time.”

“How have you been?” Jinki asked, always one for formalities.

“I’ve been good. We’re on first and I just wanted to say before we go on that I hope you guys do well.” He nodded at Jonghyun who acknowledged him in return. “I knew you’d find someone better than me.”

Kibum laughed sharply. “No thanks to you.”

“Yeah… I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be sorry,” Taemin said. “It’s water under the bridge. Good luck, hyung!”

“Thanks, Taem.” CNU bowed to all of them before leaving the area to set up with his band. Jinyoung sent them a look and a small smile. Kibum returned it with a sense of forgiveness. Jonghyun had a positive effect on his competitive attitude.

“Taem?” Jonghyun asked.

“It’s my nickname,” Taemin explained. “We all have one. Hyung’s Onew,” he said pointing at Jinki. “Minho-hyung is Ho. Kibum’s Key and I’m Taem.”

“Then… Do I get a nickname?” Jonghyun asked hopefully.

“How about Jjong,” Kibum suggested and Jonghyun immediately grinned, pulling Kibum in to kiss his cheek.

“I love it and I love you.”

“Yeah, I love you too, Jjong,” Kibum returned, trying to sound disinterested but the heat throbbing in his ears said otherwise.

An hour and a half followed and Odd was on next. They all set themselves up, Jonghyun with Juliette and Kibum with his old borrowed bass. It felt heavy and weighted, used and degraded, in his hands but familiar all the same. The first time he held this bass had been the start of high school when he had no one else to turn to. He had considered giving her a nickname too, but he thought it was too cliché.

“Hello!” Jinki called out. “We’re Odd and this is our song, _View_ , composed by our guitarist, Jjong!”

A large wave of screams ripped through the crowd and Kibum laughed. This was going to end well, he could feel it.

* * *

The crowd craved for more from them when their song ended and they left the stage. They had been last on the set list and next would be the results. The moment the group descended the stage they wrapped their arms around each other and jumped for joy. They just played their first live stage and nothing fucked up!

“Oh my God, Jjong, where did that high-note come from?” Taemin asked as the group split.

“It just came to me,” Jonghyun admitted, feeling the rush of adrenaline take him higher into a plane of reality. “That was intense. Jinki-hyung, your voice is killer!”

“So is yours!” Jinki replied with the brightest grin anyone had ever seen. “God, I think we might win this you guys.”

“Don’t count all of your eggs just yet,” Kibum warned before jumping up and down. “But, I think we might win too!”

“Um, excuse me,” one of the student councillors interrupted. “All contestants are supposed to take their seats in the audience for the results,” she said with a snipped tone.

“Oh, right,” Jinki replied, blinking. “Let’s go guys.”

The band filtered out through the crowd, weaving to find their reserved seats, as applauds filled the hall. They had made more of an impression than they first thought.

The principal ascended the stage with an air of pride. Her hair was tied tightly to the back of her head but her pretty face was youthful and approachable. “On the first annual Joongdong High Talent Show, we are proud to announce…” The principal paused for effect and the entire student body groaned.

“Get on with it,” Kibum muttered.

“The judges declare our winners as Bae Irene and Kang Seulgi for their outstanding performance with _Be Natural_!”

There was a buzz of confusion before Seulgi and Irene stood up and took their place on stage to accept their trophies.

“Well, isn’t that ironic,” Kibum commented under his breath.

“I don’t think you understand that word,” Jinki responded but Kibum slapped at his arm. “Ow!”

“I wasn’t talking to you, Onew.”

“Alright, we’re not on stage now, let’s stop with the names…”

Jonghyun clapped the hardest for Irene, a smile that crossed between pride and apology written on his face as he stood up along with a few other students. Kibum didn’t want to mock the hard work the two had put in for their performance, even if he was sure and he and his group had put more considering the numbers but… The way they teared up on stage, accepting the temporary trophy (a shield with two panes of silver that will have the winners’ names etched into it each year) and their token prize of 150,000 won each.

“Oh, just get off the stage,” Kibum jeered quietly after a few minutes. “We were robbed,” he added bitterly.

“Well, we were still loved the most,” Taemin offered as resolution. Jinki shook his head and Kibum rolled his eyes. “So… What happens now?”

* * *

A lot happened in five years. All five of Odd graduated with honours and all of them turned down the chance to go to Seoul National University to pursue their passion for music. Jonghyun composed more songs for their band, another stellar beat called _Odd Eye_ that Jinki developed an unhealthy obsession for (“It sounds like you’re saying my name!” he said the first time he listened to it). Minho and Taemin finally accepted their feelings for each other and started dating before Taemin officially graduated and Jonghyun and Kibum came out to their parents, which went better for the former than the latter. All five moved into a large city condo, opposite Minho’s old one and Jinki started dating a young woman, whose identity he kept a secret.

Things had been going well for the band, and things were soon going to get better.

“Alright boys,” their manager said, pulling ahead of the eager group. “This is your debut stage but your song is killer and you already have a tonne of fans so I know you’ll do great. Just make sure to smile and make love to the camera, you’ll be okay.” She led them to where they needed to enter to the stage from and gave them all individual pep talks.

“Welcome back to Music Core!” One of the hosts said off to the side. “Today is an exciting day for this young band of five. Having joined in high school, they have had the best received debut to date. Here they are, five shining boys… It’s Odd!”

The group filtered onto stage, dyed hair glittering, stage lights blinding their heavily made up eyes. It felt like heaven to be on stage in front of thousands of people. The crowd began to chant their names and Kibum turned to Jonghyun, who met his eyes with a shyest smile. He always felt like he was sixteen again whenever he glanced over at his boyfriend.

The music began to play, Taemin leading the group in with a gentle play of his high-end synth.

_Everyone is lost for words like you… Beyond fourth dimensional, a miraculous view…_

                                                                                                                                          

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading and leaving feedback! I hope you enjoyed the journey of reading this fic as much as I enjoyed writing it.
> 
> I'm currently posting up a new jongkey fic: The Misconceptions of you, me, and Everything in Between. It's a cute little fic where jonghyun falls head over heels for kibum who runs a bakery with jinki and taemin is jonghyun's openly gay and very opinionated coworker.  
> I hope you'll check it out if you're still craving some sweet jongkey goodness.
> 
> Don't forget you can follow me on twitter: @jjong_bluemoon
> 
> Once again, thank you all for reading <3333


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